Yes, things are going well with us but I got curious and it blew up in my face. I joined a group on social media that appreciates my physique and loaded a picture. It was well received and someone messaged me so I responded. We had sent a few messages and my guy got curious as to who I was talking to and tried to see who it was and I responded by saying something sparky. He looked over at my phone and saw it was another man. There was nothing scandalous but the intent was there from his side. My guy got mad and said we're done. My response was why is it ok for him to talk to other women and get pictures from other women which of course didn't go over well. He's always been one to say if you want to leave then leave I'm not going to stop you. Its been that way since I've known him. I told him I wish he'd fight even the tiniest bit for me. Not with another man but to tell me he doesn't like it and that he doesn't want me to talk to other men. This is the only time I've spoken to someone else for even a split second and he was ready to throw us away. I fought so hard for us when all of the mess was happening with him and then to just be told leave if want to leave hurt a lot.
The picture I posted was out of curiosity as to what the responses would be and to my shock and (not going to lie) delight the responses were overwhelmingly positive. My guy doesn't really give compliments or tell me I'm beautiful, I'm assuming he thinks so but just doesn't say it. I don't consider myself extremely high maintenance, which probably means I am, but every now and then a you're beautiful would make my day.
What I did, soliciting the attention of other men, is equal to his cheating and never should have happened.
He basically said to me last night that I had said I wanted to work on trust issues between us and that what I had done pretty much ruined his trust. I can't say he's wrong but at the same time I don't always feel like I can trust him after everything. I expressed how I felt and it was pretty much met with silence, which is the way it usually goes. I'm the expressive one and he's the quiet brooding one. It's how we've always been and there are times it feels impossible but I truly believe we care for and love each other and so we'll continue as we do and work through things our way.
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