Hey y’all. So, A LOT has happened since last I wrote. And right now, I’m trying to turn a tragedy into something positive.
So, my husband, Randy and I have been working as over the road truck drivers (team drivers) for over 3 years now. We were loving it. Having fun traveling, experiencing and seeing different states (and Canada), and working while doing it. We had our 2 dogs with us, Ludo and Rogue. And life was good. Then, all hell broke loose.
In mid-March, we were fixing the APU (the generator) on the truck, and Randy gets a call from his sister. His mom is in the emergency room with her face all swollen to where she looks like a different person. And thank God his sister visited his mom that day. She would have died if she hadn’t gone to the hospital. She’s been diagnosed with stage 3 lung cancer. So, March and April we’ve been working as close to home as possible so we can get there easily and quickly. And we’ve been home a lot.
On this last trip home, we seriously discussed what we wanted to do. Now that his mom is stable and settled in her home, we decided we were going to go back on the road for 2-3 months and work on looking for jobs and a place to stay in the meantime. Then we were going to come off the road so we could spend as much time as possible with his mom.
On this last time at home, we were parked in the truck stop in Kenly. We had just gotten the truck inspected and a couple of tires replaced. The next day, we were visiting his mom about an hour or so away around lunch time. Randy gets another call. There’s a fire at the truck. The fire marshal and the cops are there. Rogue is dead. Smoke inhalation. And they don’t think Ludo is going to make it. They already resuscitated him once.
That was the longest hour drive in my life. Now I know how it feels for the family in all those crime podcasts I listen to when they’re rushing to get to a loved one who has been hospitalized or the victim of a crime.
When we get there (I’ve been sobbing the whole way), I see Ludo sitting with the rescuers. He’s still alive! And so happy to see me. Gives me licks all over my face, doesn’t want to let me out of his sight. I’m so happy to see him. But his breathing isn’t quite right. To be expected. He inhaled so much smoke and came back from the dead. Of course he might not be quite right. We take a look at the truck. The outside looks like nothing happened. But the inside is another story. It’s completely burned up. Black. They have Rogue on the other side of the truck from Ludo. She’s covered in a blanket. More crying. They offer to allow us to bury her in the woods on the property. It seems like the best option to us. We don’t have a home right now and I can’t throw away her body. She loved to run in the woods and chase critters. So, we thought she’d be happy there.
My parents offer to let us spend the night. We bring Ludo there and he’s drinking water, but his breathing is getting a little worse. At least it’s bad enough that it’s worrying me and I don’t want to wait until the morning to bring him to the vet. So, we call around and end up bringing him to the vet school’s emergency clinic. They put him on 43 liters of oxygen, but he wasn’t getting better. In fact, when they brought him out for us to see him, he was worse. And they said he had carbon dioxide and cyanide poisoning. We had to make the decision to put him down. So ended the worst day of my life so far. At least that’s how it feels.
I got Ludo’s pawprint the vet took the other day in the mail. So that’s nice, I guess. I do wish I’d taken some of Rogue’s fur or something before we buried her. Oh well. We got their collars.
We’re still staying with family as of right now. Randy just got a job. So that’s good. We haven’t had to touch our savings/investments, so that’s a plus. We’ve been doing Uber Eats for $ in the meantime. I’m looking for a remote job. I’m sure I’ll get something soon. I’m also studying AI and Cyber Security. Working out every at least 4-5 days a week. Eating healthy, trying to get our health in order and weight down. Not trying, we are doing it.
I still have moments (mostly at night when I’m trying to sleep) when I get sad or even cry about the dogs. I mean, it’s only been a couple of weeks. But still, I feel like I should be farther along by now. I don’t know. Maybe I’m being too hard on myself. There’s nothing I could have done differently, looking back on everything. And thank God this didn’t happen on the road. At least we were home and had access to our car and family. And we really have been keeping pretty positive attitudes throughout everything.
Geez, this was a long post. Guess I had to get that all out. It kind of feels good to write it all down. A release, in a way. Maybe this’ll help. I hope so. Cause I was feeling kind of down yesterday. As I was going to sleep last night, I swear I felt Ludo’s big ass head on my leg. I really think he came back from death the day of the fire just to say goodbye. They were so loved. I miss them so much. Eventually I’m sure I’ll get another dog. Even Randy said he doesn’t think I can last without K9 interaction. Maybe I’ll pet sit. I really want to foster dogs. But it’s not the right time yet. One day. Right now, we have to focus on rebuilding our lives. And we’ll stay grateful to God, because we really are blessed.
Thanks for listening. Talk to y’all later.
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