Family bbq in The start of something?

Today we had a family bbq at my grandfather’s place. Everyone brought stuff and we were just all together. I used to love these gatherings but not so much anymore. Not sure why.... people tend to stick together. Maybe that’s why. The highly religious fundamentalist group stick together and those that don’t go to church tend to feel left out.
We’re in the latter group....
One of my cousins came over and spoke to us and of course, ended up inviting us to church because they are having some big skating name coming to visit and speak. Everything revolves around church. I mean it was nice that he made the effort to talk to us but it just seems like everything is a mission to get people to church, instead of just talking to people and getting to know them without the church business.

Hubby couldn’t come because we were having a split system air conditioner installed and then he was going to work. He kept saying how I look like I’ve dropped at least 5 dress sizes and that people would say something. I keep telling him that no one has said anything and I don’t expect anyone to say anything today.
I haven’t gone on the scales so I don’t know what I’ve lost… but I do know I’m wearing a dress I couldn’t fit into a few months ago so that’s good…

However when I saw the photos my mum and sister put on facebook from today I got depressed again because I thought I still look so fat and on top of that, I’m looking old. My eyes are getting droopier… aging is so tragic....

So sometimes I think I’m losing weight and feel good, other times i think it’s just all in my head and nothing is changing. The scale would settle this argument but I refuse to step on them.

In the meantime I’m killing myself by doing ridiculous kms on the treadmill… my feet are swollen and sore but it’s ok… I do still enjoy it. It’s just not realisitc that I’m going to be able to keep this up I don’t think. Not at this level.
I did over 50kms in the last two days and am up again at 4.30am just so I can get kms in before work.

Oh… I have that meeting tomorrow!!! with the financial counselors! I’ve got my outfit picked out. Hope i don’t loook dressy but I know I’ll look different and that will incite comments alone… instead of daggy baggy pants, I’ll be wearing a fitted skirt and top AND I’ll have heels on…

It was my son’s birthday today. I think he had a nice day. My mum gave him a ton of money which I will bank for him....

Another weekend down…