Hello,
So the start of 2025 for me was emotional however on Monday the 6th I woke up dusted myself off showered like a boss brushed my teeth went back to work and took the day on as i want to truly work on myself this year it’s tackling hard things.. i didn’t make my lunch however i did come home and make dinner do the dishes it made me feel pretty good.. I also prepped my lunch for tuesday!. thought a strong start is important.. changes to keep going.
This morning Karlie and I made the lunches together and i showered brushed my teeth like a boss and was kind to myself.. I also made dinner tonight last night i did get the kids take out BUT a proud me moment was being able to just get myself a snack wrap and being content with that.. i havent had an actual pop since Jan 5th i know it’s not long but i was in the routine of drinking pop everyday again sometimes more then one a day.. soo the ball is rolling things are going we are living healthier..
Not happier yet a problem with me is my confidence and self image i feel like i am not worth shit i feel very replaceable and my feelings are easily hurt even when someone isn’t meaning to hurt them i will take offense or over think things.. I don’t see myself in the greatest light so building myself up will be hard just because i sometimes feel okay in my own skin doesn’t mean i am confident and ready to take on the world.. I am ready to try and find confidence in myself and what i can bring to the table and to peoples lives i want to start to do new things… try watching nerdy movies or whatever i am ready. life is getting ahead of me every moment i waste laying around… I’m not sure how to stop over thinking but i think maybe i will start reading some books about healing i need to heal my inner child and i need to heal my soul from the things i have done to myself and let others do to me..
This year is about owning it and finding new ways to get out there idk yet how i will get myself out there BUT i am going to make memories and I am meeting a friend this summer by planning a fun trip with our kids.. i am super excited about that soo it’s good now i need to start to wind down and get ready to go to bed the next thing i want to get better at is sleeping.. i want to sleep through the night i need to get there this year my sleep has been messed up for a whole year now.. it’s time to change.
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