I got news from my younger brother that my father is owning the loan shark 100k (24k Euro) instead of the previous 12k Euro. I have no idea how to f*ck the Loan shark is increasing the amount, I just want them to rot in hell and die in a miserable death. yes I am cursing them because I no longer take this bullshit. We sold everything, we have nothing and they want to rob something of us.
Police force take bribes, politicians take bribes, the whole country is getting horrible with the same party group since independence. I am so sick and no justice what so ever in the country.
With that kind of situation, police won’t help you, instead they will laugh of floor laughing once you walked out from the police station after making a report, because they know they will get money from the loan shark very soon. This is how the country work, sick sick sick. but what can I do?
I am so sick of all the bullshit, and all the lies of my father, lies of my brother. I am done. I really do not wish to go back home, I miss them, but I don’t think I can face all this bullshit anymore. I am just a girl you once discriminate, so I don’t think I have so much power to save the family. I am not working and I have no money. I am living off my husband salary which we have no balance every month.
Upon hearing the news that the loan shark harass my brother, my reaction was “OH” my heart has harden, my tear is dried, I no longer have the energy to cry. Maybe if i received more news, I will just jump off from the building, no hussy fussy, no stress from them. I told my husband I am ok, but my mental is not, I have nightmare and dreams about this everyday.
I thought I won’t cry, but I was wrong, typing this half way my tears flow through my eyes without giving me any signal. I do not know how much I can stand strong because I know I am not as strong as I seems.
I am so tired. I am depress and so stressful. I try to hide, I try to ignore but when come to night, all these worries come to me, nightmares, or waking up middle of the night. I am so tired.
When I was small, I always learn when you treat someone good, you will be treated good in return, if you treat someone bad, you will get treated in a bad way, but I seriously think this is bullshit. BULLSHIT.
If this f*cking theory is true, then the loan shark is long dead. Dead and skinless and being feed to fish. They do not deserve to live in this earth to cause pain to every single human alive.
I hate this world, but I love my husband, he is the only reason I stay alive and not doing something really stupid. But I am so stressful now.
I don’t think I want to go home next year because I just do not know how to face all this Bullshit!
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