My life without kevin in Daily Ramblings

Well I’m not sure what I put in my last post. I know a bunch of them are about my boyfriend /fiancé Kevin. He had stage 4 cancer.. Esophageal. Well he fought a good fight. But even my big strong Kevin couldnt beat it. He was in and out of the hospital Oct and Nov of 2022. In Oct they had to put in a feeding tube in his stomach so he could get some nutrients in his body because he kept throwing up and couldn’t keep anything down. I was taking care of him. Grinding his meds and flushing it in his tube. In mid-November he went in and didn’t come out. I had to make the decision to take him off life support. His sisters were here from Florida to be with him. He took a turn for the worse. Then he got a fever. He was fast asleep too they didn’t induce a coma he was just out of it. His breathing got bad to the point he couldn’t breathe on his own. They had this tight mask on him. When I decided to put him on comfort care i had to tell the doctor to tell his sisters what was happening and his quality of life was going to be bad. They agreed that my decision to take him off life support.
It was the hardest thing I had to do. But I know it was right. Kevin was a ppl person loved to travel and was in the navy and saw places all over the world ID never see.
The funniest on was him telling me he would tell New guys coming into the navy and on his carrier, of how to sweep the wings. He actually told these guys to take broom to sweep the wings … Meanwhile him and his friends would be somewhere watching this and laughing their asses off! Then his Sargeant (I forget what rank the guy was but it was above him) saw these guys with a broom sweeping away the wings. Looked at them and knew Kevin told me to do that and was laughing himself lol.
He was on the Eiffel tower and really hungover!
He wanted to see the pope talk, but they were sipping out and he couldn’t. He was actually thinking of going awall because Its a one in a lifetime opportunity. He didn’t do it tho.
He went to Pompeii. I remember him telling me he saw the dog and the body shapes of ppl. Other stuff too but those stuck in his mind.
Anyway I lost him Nov. 30th at 1:15 pm. I was with him all the time but when he was on comfort care they let me sleep over there. They gave me a comfortable recliner. I was holding his hand. I’m sure he knew I was there. There was a time in his life after the navy he was homeless and had nobody. But he pulled himself out of that. Was in school and became IT. The college went under. I met him when he got a job at Walgreens where I work.
I didn’t want him to be alone in his last moments! I was there seeing his last breaths and his last. He wasn’t with strangers. He is in heaven I believe that even more so after he passed. I was at my job and a customer that I knew for ages was talking to me and told me she was an empath. I will get into that more when I talk again. Right now I got to get ready for work.
Till we meet again prosebox!