Heard that song on the radio,
And it got my gears turnin’
Like a real life time machine....
-Daughtry, “Louder Than Ever”
I’ve been somewhat remiss in my endeavor to write more frequently.
Fall is full-on into falling and we just came out of the best part of a week of constant rain. It was nice in a way. The air is crisp and cool with the smell of leaves as they begin the recycle thing they do. Wood smoke from fireplaces and woodstoves. The change in the air.
Bothersome how it seems to keep accelerating. When I was a kid every season took an eternity. Even the break from school for summer seemed to run long when you started running out of things to do.
When I was in 4th grade, once we were over our Alice Cooper “School’s Out for…” elation - which as I recall took about three weeks - we were bored out of our skulls. Dad still had to work, and mom still had three other younger siblings to take care of.
My elementary school opened the library three days a week, so I started going to school to check out books. A little creeped out by the school with no one in it.
I recognize the feeling - I had the same decades later when I lived onboard the USS Constellation. Coming back from town to a ship that was empty with the exception of the watch. It always felt slightly haunted.
The same with the school. The lights off, the floors polished. The smell the same except there were no other kids or any teachers. The lights were on in the library. The volunteer librarian puttering behind the counter.
I read a series of biographies of the US presidents and historical figures. The books were at the extreme end of my 4th grade vocabulary. I muddled through with the help of my trusty dictionary.
Easier stuff like “My Side of the Mountain” I read from high up in a monstrous birch tree. A hundred feet higher than the base housing we lived in. At nine you have no fear.
Straddle a branch, lean back against the trunk and read.
I don’t read much anymore. The eyeballs are wonky and focusing close up doesn’t always work. I have a kindle with a few dozen books. Mostly I listen to books - which is an unfortunate sign of things to come. I am getting used to the transition from having 20/10 vision to gradually becoming human. I don’t even turn the lights on when I go upstairs to go to bed. I know where the turn to the bedroom door is. I know where to go when I need to take a leak. Most of the year I am up before the sunrise and back in bed well after the sunset.
As often happens in the early fall I start thinking of Audrey more than I should. I think it is easier when relationships end abruptly, even emotionally violently. Where one can blame and hate. It is easier than a love that just fades with a hint of a promise.
You were there in the front seat,
Windows down we were burning,
It was just like a movie scene,
Those dashboard lights,
And your pale blue eyes cutting through me.


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