So... in Regular Stuff

Instead of one of those ‘in my head entries’ I decided to come here and write one for realz lol.

I still miss OD wah wah wah. I guess technically, it’s people that I miss. I feel fortunate that so many of you came here, but there are still so many who didn’t. Or they came here, claimed a spot, and never wrote. But, I did realize one very big bright spot for me personally; no one in my area life knows about this place. I was always pretty open in my writing but I know there were times I held back because of who may read it. There were only a few people outside of the site, but still, it caused me to censor myself occasionally.

So I was going over some personal issues in my head tonite and I had a few realizations. First let me record some truths about my living situation. Most of you know some of this, some of you know all of it, but on the chance I have some new readers, I’ll be pretty detailed.

I am almost 54 years old. I live with my beautiful adult daughter, her boyfriend (we have a long history of a like/hate relationship), and my three gorgeous, smart, funny, angelic granddaughters who I love more than anything in this world. I’m a proud, doting grandmother in case that wasn’t clear ; )

2 months ago we moved into a new house (renting). As ALWAYS, we are struggling financially. Our bills always get paid but there is always some juggling involved and there is never anything left over.

I should also mention we live just outside of Washington, D.C., recently voted the most expensive area in the country to live.

I am disabled so I get a check from social security each month. My daughter has a great job and makes very good money. Dustin, the boyfriend, works at The Cheesecake Factory. My check is about half of what Aimee makes and Dustin brings home about half of what I make.

On paper it all works out. How does it always happen that way? With our rent, ALL our bills including car note, insurance, utilities, day care, gas, groceries, household items comes to about $700 less than what we bring in. Not a lot, but enough for us each to have a few hundred in pocket change for our own personal wants and needs. Aimee takes her lunch about 90% of the time and Dustin gets to snack all day at work plus get a free meal each shift.

Now a few things to note; # 1 -we are still recovering from moving expenses (rental truck, deposits, etc.) And #2 - we are paying our landlord an extra $500 a month for a four month period (through December). There are two reasons for this, we do not have good credit. It’s getting better but we are still suffering the residuals of poor decisions and sloppy money management from years ago. Secondly, there was another family who wanted this house bad enough to also pay a double deposit.

Getting bored yet? Hang in there, there may be a quiz later, with prizes!

So I agreed to let Aimee handle the bills. This is HUGE for me because I am a control freak when it comes to things like this.

So anyway, last night I woke up again at 3:00 a.m. for no good reason. I laid in bed thinking about all this financial stuff and realized how petty I can be. Many times I have questioned Aimee’s purchases, both to her and in my mind. I make snide remarks sometimes. I get in the car, see a receipt on the floor and immediately grab it up, ready to judge what she’s bought.

And I just realized how wrong I was being. Aimee is doing the best she can and I doubt I could do any better. She’s a good girl and I’m very proud of the woman and mother that she has become. She gets three kids off to school every day, works hard all day, comes home and fixes dinner (her choice - she loves to cook). And yes I do help but why wouldn’t I? It’s a privilege for me to spend every moment I’m given with my grandchildren.

And I have to remember, all my needs are met. Sure there are things I want but money can’t buy the really important stuff. And I can’t forget the payoff of being able to live in this beautiful house. It’s everything I’ve ever wanted and just so perfect for us. Plenty of room, a big back yard for the kids, a nice patio for BBQ’s, less than 5 minutes from the kid’s schools, the list goes on.

So I wrote her a note and told her I was so sorry for giving her grief and that I knew how hard it and that she was doing the best she can do. And I promised myself I would stop being so petty and start being more grateful and appreciative, not just of her but of all I have. I’m going to try very hard to stick to this new resolve.

Well I was kidding about the quiz and the prizes, but if you’ve read this far, I do appreciate it!

Last updated October 22, 2014