I’m still waiting to hear back from GA. The second round of interviews should happen next week and I sent a follow-up email on Monday so fingers crossed. I think I want that job. To be honest I’ve felt so lost lately that I can’t tell if I want a new job, want to just deal with the job I have now, or just press on and keep on searching for that dream job. I know it’s out there, I’m just not sure I’m in the right mindset to work through that right now.
Sometimes I just have those moments of complete and utter disappointment and confusion. That I’ll never have that job where I’m passionate about my mission or goals. I want to do great work. Not good work or just work. I want to do something, build something, create and make better. I can’t do that here. It’s easy and simple, I just can’t. I’m not capable without the tools. They don’t have the tools and I can’t build my own tools. I’ve tried and they were taken away. So I will go somewhere else because I can’t do great work here.
I’ve always loved being in school and I still do. Although often I feel the online virtual classroom can be improved moreso than it already is. It is a constant. School provides me with the capability of doing good work and research. Getting good grades and feeling like I’ve deserved them. School is routine and conforms to a standard, but not boring and it constantly changes week to week. It is never the same nor similar subjects or assignments. Man, if I could be a student forever and just learn and fill up with knowledge. And maybe one day I will do that, teach and forever be a student.
I’m really enjoying school right now so I’m going to focus a lot of my positive energy on that and my baking. Just bake. Just school. One day at a time.
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