My How Things Change (Or, Hi Prosebox!) in This Is Now
- Oct. 31, 2013, 1:31 a.m.
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- Public
So.
It's been a while!
Last time I updated over there, it was a few months after my daughter was born. She is now 20 months old, 20 months worth of sweetness and light, and joy and devastation. You know that really cliche saying about a child being your heart walking around outside your body? Completely true. Part of me is never at ease.
Truthfully, I thought there was going to be this giant shift in my life where I "felt like a mom."
It hasn't happened! I mean.. my life has changed in all the appropriate ways. I never get time to myself, I am always tripping over toys (and NOT TOYS, because why would a child want to play with toys when they can just stick their head in a plastic bag or destroy your laptop?), I've been to the mall ONCE in the last two years, and I was sleep deprived for months on end. But although she is my everything, I still feel exactly like me, but with a kid.
I think my expectation that I would devolve into a sweatpants-wearing mini-me-obsessed zombie has a lot to do with how some people seem to lose themselves completely in parenthood. I have a friend who had a kid and for ONE AND A HALF YEARS (seriously, I checked) she never ONCE posted anything on Facebook that wasn't directly related to her child. I swore I wouldn't be that person, and I haven't been. But I think that has a lot to do with just... who I am.
Motherhood has changed my perspective in so many ways. There is not a second goes by that I am not acutely aware of that piece of my heart that is actively running around, jumping off of things, and SASSING me. But also... I'm still just Katy. I didn't expect that.
Is that weird?
Taking after her mom, clearly:
I really, really love this kid:
Swirly Girl ⋅ October 31, 2013
What a beautiful picture of you and your daughter...so precious
Joie. De. Vivre. ⋅ October 31, 2013
Hiiii! Hi hi hi! I love this!! Thank you for updating. I always love to hear your words :)
Lepetit pumpkinesque ⋅ October 31, 2013
You look great and she is so gorgeous and I love love love her Madeline blanket! My mom read me that book every night for years!
mr. broom ⋅ October 31, 2013
I've managed not to be that parent myself. However, I've got a much deeper understanding of what motivates those who are.
Finn ⋅ November 01, 2013
OH HAI. This pleases me GREATLY. ::finger tent::
Please come back. Please please.
Eden Calling Finn ⋅ November 02, 2013
I'm back, I'm back! I like this clean slate of a place. OD had gotten so... depressing.
aglow ⋅ November 07, 2013
I love it; it's so funny to see people refer to OD over here all like hushed tones, like it's an evil ex or a bad relationship.
Jeanine ⋅ December 18, 2013
HIIIIIII! I'm glad you're here! I have bookmarked and friended you, so you should be able to read now :D
Jeanine ⋅ December 18, 2013
And re: your entry: No! That's not weird at all! I feel a lot of the same way, though I do talk about her and post about her often, I think because I'm a working mine, there's still a very defined ME aspect of motherhood. And also, I wanted to be sure that I never lost sight of who I was/am, so that when she grows up, she never loses sight of who SHE is. I think it's a fantastic way to be!
She's getting so big, I can't even stand it!
Jeanine ⋅ December 18, 2013
lol I'm a working MOM, that is. Not a working "mine."
Lepetit pumpkinesque ⋅ December 28, 2013
are you updating??
janeanger ⋅ February 04, 2014
I've been glad that the vast majority of my friends who became parents were able to keep their own worlds in addition to their children.
pandora ⋅ February 19, 2014
Argh! So many people who I was following but hadn't friended for some reason! Hi! Now you're in!
chasing.daylight ⋅ March 18, 2014
I love that you are still, you. And do not overshare about the mom experience on FB. ;) ♥ and miss you!