On Saturday, the mormons were here again teaching us a little more about their church and getting us ready to attend with them for the second week in a row. Part of what they talked to us about on Saturday was what they called ‘prietshood blessings’ and I asked them a lot of follow-up questions about their claim to be able to heal the sick. I asked if it was like Jesus healing blind people and stuff like that. They immediately backtracked and told me that they didn’t necessarily think they could give sight to blind people, unless of course it was God’s will.
So I told them about my incontinence and asked them to heal me. I was being a smart aleck more than anything. I’ve been 100% urinary incontinent for almost six years now, and my doctor has told me it isn’t going to get better. Nonetheless, they asked me questions about it, advised me to have faith that I could be healed, and then one of them put some oil of my head and said a prayer. Then they both put their hands on my head and said another prayer. I wanted to tell them that the problem wasn’t in my head, but then realized they might think I was inviting them to put their hands on my crotch instead.
On Sunday, we went to church. It was good to see some of the same friendly people there again, and also nice to have at least a vague understanding of what was going on. I was prepared for the three hours of meetings. I still had a whole assortment of reservations about joining a church, but I know that Jayson is getting more and more interested as time passes. I feel like he doesn’t have a single friend in Boston and now suddenly it seems like he has all kinds of friends in the church.
At the end of the day, the missionaries asked us if we were pray about getting baptized. I told them I would think about it.
When I got home, I felt something strange that I hadn’t felt in a long time. It was so unusual that I didn’t know what it was at first. Then it dawned on me that it was pressure in my bladder. I was feeling the need to pee. I went to the bathroom and sat down and peed like a normal person. I was dumbfounded. It seems like such a small thing, but I hadn’t peed like that in a very long time.
My diaper was still a little wet and I knew that meant I had wet it at some point while we were at church, but I was still excited (and a bit confused) about why I was able to hold it in suddenly. I changed into a dry diaper and decided to keep the experience to myself.
We had lunch as a family and after I cleaned up I had the feeling again. I immediately went to the bathroom and peed again. My diaper was dry. I had successfully held it in completely, something my doctor had told me I was essentially incapable of doing. What was going on? I was excited and nervous.
I stayed dry for the rest of the day. I woke up on Monday feeling a strong need to pee, but also with a wet diaper. I hadn’t made it through the night, but I did still hold some of it in. All day Monday I stayed dry. Every time I got the slightest feeling that I needed to go, I went.
Last night I went to bed at about 11. When the baby woke me up at around 2:30, I was still dry and I made sure to pee before going back to bed. When I woke up this morning, I was dry. I was feeling so confident that today I put on underwear instead of a diaper. It was fun to put on big-girl panties for a change. Tonight I will probably still sleep in a diaper until I feel more sure about that.
But what scares me most is that this is too much of a coincidence. How did I start to get control over a problem I was told I would never control again literally the day after I was given a priesthood blessing? I still haven’t told anyone. Like I think telling someone might jinx it.
But today I did tell Jayson that I was going to quit smoking so I could be preparing myself for the church. And I think I meant it.
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