A dream, a conversation in Journaling

Got into an argument with my mother last night. I wouldn’t even call it that, she gets triggered and I sit and let it play out. But it led to a series of events. One being that I lost my keys. Luckily the person I bought the car from just happened to find the spare. Life is weird like that, one setback, one step forward. Feels like I’m on a treadmill, never getting anywhere but I’m running like hell trying to.

I had a weird dream. I dreamed that I was in a car, talking all night with a stranger. But they weren’t a stranger, there was something familiar about them. We talked all night about our life and at the end, they gave me a kiss. I woke up to realize that it was memories of the past but replayed in a way where I forgot who they were so it felt fresh and simple. Reminded me why I went down that path. I think that person was a huge key as to why I turned out the way I am. They tried to set boundaries with me that I didn’t understand at the time. But being in therapy and treatment, I see it now. I see so much more now.

I think that dream was just me wishing I could see them as a stranger again, the past gone. Just two people with no history having a conversation once again. Just, simple. But I know this longing doesn’t get me anywhere, but it’s nice to dream.

Last updated March 20, 2024