I never chose my people, I always let them choose me. I have always waited around and looked pathetic until someone decided to approach me, adopt me, adore me, accept me, and discover me. It’s not been that bad, I have made some great friends, and I have met nice people - also some really bad people, but I know I hold the power to cut them off my life, so I have been just fine. Until now, I guess I started wondering after having to cut off a lot of people one after another, as a 25-year-old adult.
Where am I going wrong? Maybe because I never approach, I never try and make friends with people I adore, I want to discover, and I find cool. And although waiting around has made me look approachable, maybe it also looked like a fool waiting to be taken advantage of.
Maybe if I pick people, I will find better people in life. So I thought. Not really, why you ask? Because sometimes when you chase people, you give so much into it, that it becomes harder for you to let them go, even when they are harmful to you. Anyone can betray you, at any point, you can not truly know what a person is like unless you have spent some time with them, sometimes a long time, and other times they are way too shitty to even pretend to be nice. So should I pick or wait around to be picked?
I don’t have an answer. I can tell you what I plan to do, both. Be bold and approach who I like. Let people approach me and not shut them off. Most importantly, I don’t want to change who I am, but maybe while getting a bit more wiser, and a bit more cautious.
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