It's Me, Hi, I'm not actually the problem and I never was, it's me in The Next Chapter

It’s been 20 months since we separated; the divorce was finalised in March 2023.

It wasn’t easy. I maintained radio silence throughout whilst he tried to make things difficult. There were moments where I really wanted to scream at him, but I’m so glad I didn’t. There’s so much satisfaction in knowing he was tantruming to an an empty theatre.

He’s now remarried. Their special day was on our wedding anniversary. When I found out, I was shocked for a full 15 seconds before bellow laughing and moving on with my day. At least he doesn’t have to remember another date, I suppose.

I bought my dream cats. Went on more dates than I can remember. Threw myself into my career. Visited so many places, experienced so many things, wild camped on the cliffs and danced under a red moon. Experienced joy, experienced loss, experienced lust, experienced sorrow, experienced love.

I have a thousand memories that would never have been possible if I’d stayed with him. I have friendships- beautiful, wonderful, meaningful friendships- that were developed and cherished post-separation and I’m so extremely proud of; friendships that define me and cultivate me and challenge me. Friends that love me for who I am and not what I represent to them.

Looking back on my old entries, I don’t recognise myself. I was this shell with a tiny seed inside, just waiting to grow. Neurotic, hysterical, hopeful.

I’m not going to pretend this has been the easiest journey. There have been times where I’ve loathed having to navigate life on my own. There’s been moments where I’ve desperately wanted, needed, someone to take the wheel, but you know what? I got through it alone, by myself, with my cats and my friends and my brand new life, and I wouldn’t change a thing.

Last updated February 04, 2024