Very early on in my marriage I confessed to my wife that I don’t always like to have an orgasm during sex. I’m sure she thought it was very weird at first. I didn’t have much of an explanation it. I knew I was submissive and I knew I was more interested in pleasing my partner than myself, but I wasn’t sure why I took pleasure in denying myself pleasure.
But as she accepted that I liked it, she started to like it too. Instead of me just not having an orgasm by choice, she started intentionally preventing it. I remember the very first time it happened. We were having sex and on this particular day I had every intention of cumming. But moments after she had an orgasm she literally pulled herself off of me and commented that we were done. I loved it.
Once she got into it, we started taking it to new levels. I used to have an orgasm maybe 50% of the time, soon that number started shrinking. To some extent I was relinquishing control to her, but not completely. I remember a time, after what had been a few weeks without an orgasm, she was giving me a blow job. She knew I was getting close and she told me she was going to to leave it up to me if I wanted to cum. I desperately wanted to and I felt myself getting right up to the edge. Then I reached over and put my hand on her shoulder and she stopped.
We made an agreement that I would only cum once a month, and that worked for a while, but soon we wanted to stretch it out even longer. It took a bit of self control on my part to not just have one accidentally, and for that reason our sex started focusing more and more on me pleasuring her. Another reason why I’m sure she enjoyed this.
I remember a night after I had just completed a full two months without an orgasm and we were going to have sex and let me cum. I was feeling disappointed instead of excited. I explained to my wife that I felt like I had two months worth of work into not cumming and after that night I was going to have to start all over. I was anticipating a long conversation about it, but she responded, “Well, you’re not cumming tonight, so don’t worry about it.”
I ended up going two and a half months without an orgasm, and when I had one it was an accident. When I realized it was happening, I was so disappointed that I almost got no pleasure out of it. My wife pretended to be angry because she had told me on that night I was not going to cum. We decided right there that night that I wouldn’t have another orgasm that calendar year. It was sometime in late May, which meant seven months without an orgasm. We saw it as both a new challenge and a punishment.
What happened after that was the idea of me having an orgasm pretty much vanished from our understanding of sex. It was a given that sex was about her pleasure and not mine. We defines sex in that way. Frequently our sex was nothing more than me performing oral on her.
When January came around, and it was time for my orgasm, she asked me if I wanted to cum inside of her or get a blowjob. I hadn’t had a blowjob in months. I thought about it and suggested that after all this build-up, it would be hot if my orgasm was nothing special. We thought about how to make it as non-exciting as possible. We agreed that I would just stand in the shower and rub it out by myself. We agreed I would only have two minutes, so I wouldn’t be able to enjoy a build-up to the orgasm. And that once I started cumming I would stop stroking, to minimize my pleasure.
I stood naked in the shower and was close to orgasm in about 45 seconds. I gave a few more stroked to push me over the edge and then I stopped. An enormous amount of cum dripped out and my pleasure was probably about a 4 on a scale of 1-10.
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