Hmmm... of course immediately after I set up a new account over on prosebox, the open diary started working again. This weekend has shoved a lot more people to the point of leaving. I've been writing for thirteen years, and twice we've had scares like this and I started a diary 'somewhere else' as a backup. But neither of those sites is still in existence (does anyone even remember bloopdiary?), and the open diary has remained. We'll see what happens... Thirteen years is a very long time, but nothing on the internet last forever. For now, entries will be cross-posted, and we'll leave it at that.
So what do I have to report today? Not a lot... I had my first mammogram last week and failed the darned thing, so now I have to get an ultrasound. I was wondering where I was supposed to go for that because my doc just gave me a scribbled prescription for it, but I got a letter from the hospital on the weekend saying 'call this number to set it up'. Okay, I'll take care of it. I'm not concerned - there's no reason to suspect anything actually WRONG, I just have small, dense, lumpy (fibrocystic) breasts and mammograms just don't work on them. There was a scare story in the Huffington Post about breast density this weekend, but I'm not unduly alarmed. It says it raises your risks five times compared to people with fatty non-dense boobage, but what it really is is that it's harder to SEE the cancer so it's harder to find it early. I don't think there's actually any MORE of it, it's just harder to spot. The most alarming thing about the report was that it was talking about how insurance companies have decided that a garden variety mammogram is the be-all-and-end-all of breast cancer diagnosis, so they generally refuse to pay for 'routine' ultrasounds because a mammogram 'should' be enough. And now my doc says I have to have one every year because the mammogram was useless to me. Let's hope that Cigna will pay for it!
I think I'm going to go see the rheumatologist again. I'm a bit afraid she'll tell me to go away and stop wasting her time, but I'm hurting, and I'm confused. Yesterday morning I woke up feverish and icky and it was too much effort to even speak. My brain was working, but nothing wanted to come out of my mouth. I hate that, but apparantly it's just the way I get when I'm feverish. At least it doesn't happen often. John got me some meds and gatorade and it wore off by lunchtime, but I'm still having a lot of joint pain and my walking royally sucks again. I'm shuffling along like a 90yo. The confusing part is that this came out of nowhere and I was doing so well a few weeks ago. I was ready to put away my canes as a waste of time, and now I really need them again. Sigh. If I'm up to it I'll go to the gym this afternoon and let the 80yos run rings around me again... did I mention that when I went on Wednesday last week the standing work was too much for me and the old lady next to me told me off for pushing too hard because 'yoga shouldn't hurt'. I was moving my back about 5 degrees max because I need to stretch and exercise it, but my sciatica was being a bear and saying 'what do you think you're doing?????' The basic fact of my life is that with fibromyalgia, arthritis, and sciatica (even if they're all super mild and early stage), the only thing that DOESN'T hurt is laying or sitting still. It's just a matter of how MUCH it hurts and whether it's a good 'stretching' hurt or a bad 'don't do that you idiot!' hurt. If it doesn't hurt it means that either I've taken meds (which I'm trying to avoid if at all possible and doing without most days because that time of not-hurting is followed by a day or so when I'm doubly conscious of the pain and wanting to take more meds to make it go away, when I usually just tune most of it out), or I'm not moving. But then there are the good days (and weeks) when for utterly mysterious unknown reasons I don't hurt at all and I can do whatever I want...
PS. I talked to mama last night to wish her a happy birthday... I actually missed it by one day but that was because Australia is over the other side of the date line - it was already the 28th there when I called. Ooops. But she told me to ask myself what I was doing differently the week that I felt so well. Ummm... I was taking antibiotics, that's what I was doing! I didn't change anything else. Sure I reshuffled the rest of my medication schedule a little to fit the doxycycline into it, but I didn't CHANGE anything, and I didn't take any more or less pain medication than usual (actually I didn't take any, but that's not unusual for me). And I worked my fingers to the bone, but the only reason I could do that was because I WAS feeling so good. Which is something I think I should talk to the rheumatologist about. I can't help wondering if everyone has missed something... oh well.
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