Endless Wednesday, May 29, 2013
I had a very uncomfortable dream about my mother. I haven't seen her in over a year now. I suppose I should feel bad about this.
I looked up possible mental illnesses/disorders last night that I could maybe have. Many reasons why. I keep myself isolated blah blah. Uncomfortable around people and so on.
I am a romantic. I read books about people with twisted minds and mental disorders. I find it cool. Romantic. The Protagonist or Anaganist (pardon my spelling i'm not sure if that is right) in books often are a bit different in the head.
Stoner says "dude what is different?"
I do think I am different though. I do not enjoy other peoples company usually. Not even family. I enjoy being by myself.
They say humans are social creatures. I am not social.
I watched A Beautiful Mind with Russel Crowe. Not bad. I like movies that chronicle an entire life.
The other Ashley at work invited me to her birthday party. I was excited at first because I haven't partied in months. But slowly I start to not want to. For many reasons.
I have an idea on what to do with my compostion book I bought. I might just write random junk in it. I want to fill it completely with whatever nonsense my brain decides to spill. But then I thought thats what I have opendiary for.
At the same time I am not good at typing at all. I could write down more of my thoughts in detail. I think overall writing freehand might be a really good exercise to improve my writing. I also want to write down my dreams that I had the night before when I wake up. I think it would be interesting. I wish I would have this morning. and yesterday actually. I forget by now.
So now I will have Open diary, my composition book, and obviously reading. Hopefully these things will help me get better at writing and creating stories. Stephen King and Christopher Paolini say to just keep working constantly and believe and good things will Happen. Actually almost every artist said so. Just keep working.
I watched a J.cole interview and he mentioned a book that helped him. I think it was called The Artists Way. I will look into it.
Watched a hilarious Danny Brown Interview.
NEXT TWO DAYS OFF WORK WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
I still stress about how I will get published one day. But I' smart I will figure it out. I have some confidence in myself remaining.
I have been saving up for an Iphone. Me and virgil are gonna get a plan. Under his name. His credit is already shot. We aren't trying to ruin mine already.
Well that should be it. For now. Who knows.
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