september 9 in twenty-eight

I know it makes me a terrible person for saying it, but I don’t understand the whole concept of how tragic it is when a kid dies. Or, I guess, how it’s any more tragic than when anyone else dies. And, really, I don’t think death is such a sad thing anyway.

I know, I’ll just get people telling me that I can’t possibly understand it, since I don’t have a kid, but I don’t think that would change my view, either. I think it would make it tragic if MY kid were to die, but not kids on the whole.

I don’t know what made me think of this, but I’m sure it isn’t unrelated to the fact that I’ve felt extra sensitive to the “you don’t have a child, please move along from this discussion since you can’t possibly understand it” rhetoric. I HATE being told that my priorities are lesser because I have chosen to not have kids at this stage in my life. That my life somehow lacks meaning because of it. People, especially women (because this is where all of these comments originate), might not have the same priorities that I do, and that may be largely due to their decision to have children, but kids ARE NOT the only important priority in life and I hate feeling like I’m on a lower tier of womanhood/humanity for as long as I hold out on having offspring. I have a meaningful life, one I am very happy with. I will continue to have a meaningful, abundantly happy life with or without children.

I think parents, particularly mothers, are very insecure and feel the need to unload that on others. I don’t know why they are so insecure, possibly because it seems like moms are evil creatures towards one another (so what if someone doesn’t do something the way you do? Shut up about it and leave the poor woman alone, you’re not the one raising her kid), or because some women lose their identities when they start having a family. Women are, in my own opinion, the largest obstacle to themselves. Women just for whatever reason cannot leave other women alone. A woman can’t make choices without being labeled something or another (slut, prude, crunchy, neurotic, lazy, ignorant…).

Well, this has turned ragey suddenly. I just want people to leave me alone about my choices and stop telling me what I can and can’t understand, or how meaningful or unmeaningful my life really is.