Aug 29 Facebook post by me: Today we moved my mom into a retirement center. I was with her all day. I washed all of her bedding in 3 loads, and was there to help her meet many friendly new neighbors.We unpacked boxes my sister had packed and set up her new apartment. I talked her through the hired movers as to which large items would be moved from the house she has been in for over 45 years, carried the large cat named Emmit out of her bedroom to outside (this is one of the cats that she does not claim to support - she calls them “community cats”) Stayed with her kitten in the new place and put it in the litter box every chance I got, had many circular conversations with her like “Did you pack makeup?” “I don’t wear makeup anymore.” “You are wearing makeup now.” She is spending her first night in her new digs tonight, with the kitten. Her stupid yip dog is with my sister in Ft Worth. This is part of the compromise - she is broke and cannot afford 2 pets. I have sold her house to a contractor who is willing to gut it and fix it up, and (with my sister and both our husbands in an “intervention” meeting on July 4) insisted on this move.
All is going pretty well. I will probably delete this post in a few days.
Sept 2 Facebook post by my sister: This has been mom’s moving weekend, and a great deal has been accomplished. Mom is 99% moved and at least 60% unpacked. She is downsizing big time, so there is more sifting of belongings to be done, but I think all of us including mom feel this retirement center will be a good and safe place for her. The whole family loves her, and she loves us and is obviously trying to be cooperative.
Thank you to all who have been praying for her and for us. My continued prayer request is for all mom’s needs to be met. But I can say that the move seems to have gone well.
Prosebox post from me just now:
It has gone as well as it could. Sis and I have remained strong and on the same team for the most part. We are both grieving for the loss of the Mom we have always known. Her mind is shifting. Sometimes we have great conversations with her and sometimes we don’t but we can still laugh together. This is super hard. My husband, who still has two active (and very separate) parents admitted that he did not know how to relate to what I am going through, but he noticed how the grief and worry has made me so much more “distracted”.
I know. This is not the first parent I have had to go through grief over. I intend to actually let myself grieve this time. I suppressed my grief for my dad because I thought I had already processed it all since his cancer took so long to actually kill him. But I was wrong. I still needed to grieve, and since I did not allow myself to, that let to debilitating anxiety attacks. I will not make that same mistake this time, so my friends and family will all probably get really annoyed with me.
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