2023 in Magical Realism

What did you do in 2023 that you had never done before?
Lived a full calendar year in Australia
Didn’t eat, speak, read or use electronic devices for 5 days on an artist’s retreat
Became a certified beginner freediver with a dive to 20 meters and a rescue at 15 meters depth
Trained as a dominatrix
Got a yoni mapping massage

Did you keep last year’s resolutions, and will you make more?
I’m not sure if I made resolutions last year. I wanted to be healthier and was mostly successful. I lost most of my extra weight picked up in pandemic but have not moderated my excessive alcohol drinking. I wanted to edit my clothing and put everything on the Style Book app. I didn’t do this. And for the oldschool peeps (everyone) I still haven’t watched all the James Bond movies. But I’m starting to feel like myself again and this makes me happy.

Resolutions for the new year:
Get super fit and healthy
Podium at world winterswimming championships in 2 events and have more fun than anyone
Pose for some incredible under-ice/under-water shoots
3+ minutes static apnea
50+ meters depth constant no weight freediving
100+ meters dynamic freediving
Master freediving certification
Winnow down my possessions and document my closet on stylebook app
Write 2 novels loosely based on my life
Buy a vacation home in Italy
3 world records / firsts
get a national freediving record
get a european passport

Did anyone close to you give birth?
No. I generally drop friends when they spawn. That said the friends with kids I do keep are exceptional and I truly appreciate them.

Did anyone close to you die?
Ugh. Thankfully no!

What countries did you visit?
France
New Zealand
US (or Australia, not sure which is home and which is visiting at this point)
UAE
Chile
Argentina
Greece
Austria
Italy
Germany
UK
Switzerland
Sweden

What would you have liked to have in 2023 that you lacked?
8.2 billion US dollars liquid.
The body of a 20 year old ballerina with gravity-defying natural D-cups.
A soul.

What dates from 2023 will remain etched in your memory?
28 March - our first anniversary of living full time in Australia. We spent it in the giraffe treehouse at the National Zoo which was ridiculous. I need to write more.

What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Surviving.

What was your biggest failure?
Lack of discipline. Losing my damn phone in Sweden. Realizing I was so addicted to my stupid phone (and also reliant for Uber, meeting friends, etc.)

Did you suffer illness or injury?
I got COVID on the flight back from France in January
Broke my rib a month or two ago
Have a broken toe currently from falling off slutty shoes

What was the best thing you bought?
Solo stay at Faena Buenos Aires hotel - just amazing.

Whose behavior merited celebration?
A, always. I must have been so good in a previous life to have him as a partner.

Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
My own - why I am I so crazy? Sometimes I think there is no difference between my behaviour and that of a 6 foot tall drunk well dressed toddler set loose with a credit card and no boundaries

Where did most of your money go?
Gosh. I paid off my Australian apartment so that was probably the biggest chunk of cash
Travel (always)
Slutty lingerie and shoes (whoops)

What did you get really, really excited about?
Sex
Bubblebaths
Sunsets
Bats flying by my house at sunset

What song will always remind you of 2023?
Barbie soundtrack.

Compared to this time last year, are you:
Thinner or fatter? Much thinner. Thankfully. I started working out again in March and it’s been amazing. I’m an endurance athlete so yeah, I’m happier when I move. And probably an idiot for not sorting that out sooner after pandemic times.
Richer or Poorer? Richer. I feel blessed.
Happier or Sadder? Happier. I have many things to work on but highs are high again and lows minimal.

What do you wish you’d done more of?
Sex. I’ve had so much sex this year but kind of feel any time when I’m not having sex is wasted.
Bubblebaths. Again I had so many but why even have a house or hotel room without a bathtub. CRIMINAL.
Sunsets and sunrises
Nightswimming

What do you wish you’d done less of?
Drinking alcohol. Why do I even?

How will you be spending Christmas?
Fucked all day on pristine white hotel sheets then walked to dinner at Nobu Sydney where I had basically the same meal I had in the original location in 2003. Which is…20 years ago. Gosh.

What was your favorite month of 2023?
August I think. It’s winter here and I had the most amazing time in Argentina which was also winter. I had the best time and reclaimed myself. Absolutely incredible.

Did you fall in love in 2023?
Every damn day. A is incredible and drives me wild even after 23 years.

How many one-night stands?
Zero. Not really my thing. If I even kiss someone I expect them to love me forever.

What was your favorite TV program?
The Idol, White Lotus, The Morning Show

Do you hate anyone you didn’t hate this time last year?
I try not to hate anyone but all my enemies basically hoisted themselves on their own petards this year. Like TS said, the trash takes itself out…every single time.

What was the best book you read?
I read 77 books this year, a good year but kind of pathetic compared to 371 last year, 203 in 2021, and 192 in 2020. The best one was Walk Through Walls by Marina Abramovic which lead to an amazing experience at her artist’s retreat in Greece

What was your greatest musical discovery?
FLETCHER

What did you want and get?
I want everything. I got most of it

What did you want and not get?
Perfect body; perfect soul

What was your favorite film this year?
BARBIE

What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
Rented a penthouse with fab views of Sydney Harbour and a cedar hot tub. I am 44 now.

What’s one thing that would have made your year infinitely more satisfying?
World domination and less fat on my lower abs.

How would you describe your personal fashion concept?
All black everything
Mermaidcore
More athleisure that I am personally okay with

What kept you sane?
Nothing. I am so unhinged I’m starting to scare myself. Most adults have responsibilities but I’m so untethered to the world it’s kind of a problem.

What celebrity or public figure did you fancy the most?
TAYLOR SWIFT. more evidence of my insanity - I bought tickets to every single one of her aussie shows and 4 months later panicked and sold them all. I probably should have kept one.

What political issue stirred you the most?
War on women’s body autonomy
Ukraine/Russia war.
Israel/Palestine war.
This world is so damn sad.

Who did you miss?
Everyone. It always feels like I’m in the wrong place no matter where I go or what I do.

Who were the best new people you met?
Yas, Sam, and Shari. I never thought I’d make friends here but I truly have. We all met on my birthday at a Madonna burlesque / drag show and it’s been truly wonderful. I also appreciate reconnecting with Mariia and Lars and Ailen in Argentina and meeting Rauno and Mariana. I love my friends.

Tell us a valuable lesson you learned in 2023.
Just give it a go.

Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
“Now when you do it, do it well and make sure that it counts
You’re not down with a discount”
OPP, Naughty by Nature