Insomnia is a gross feeder. in The New Book

I am so tired. I have yet to sleep a single night of restful sleep. It’s wearing on me. I am still putting one foot in front of the other but I kinda wish I could stop for awhile.

I’m pushing myself to keep going. Not that there’s any choice. I have so much to do just to entangle 30 years. I keep thinking I’ve crossed all my i’s and dotted my t’s (yes, I know), but something slips thru the cracks & I get rattled when I didn’t think of it first. What other important thing am I forgetting during all of this?

I had yet another meltdown at a Target last night. Not even real sure what triggered it. All I know is that I had the urge so sit on the floor in the bedding aisle & just stay there. Yet, at the same time feeling an overwhelming feeling of being trapped & in desperate need of fresh air. I managed to keep things contained for the most part. It was close though, real close.

It looks like I will be putting some of the money down on an apartment tomorrow. Well, that is if it isn’t a scam because at this point it almost feels too good to be true. Wish me luck on that, folks.

I have my first appointment with a therapist next Thursday. I’m looking forward to it. I just don’t know how an hour long session …per week, per month, per whatever it ends up being …is supposed to help me hold it together when I feel like I’m falling apart every minute of everyday.

I’m being dramatic again. takes a deep breath

The rational side of my brain insists that things will be get better. Now, if I could just get one night of sleep, I might even be able to agree with that.