A good time without any stress FINALLY in The New Book

I am going to a work holiday lunch today! For once, I didn’t have to lie & pretend it was mandatory in order to have “permission” to go. I didn’t spend hours thinking & stressing about what I could wear that wouldn’t feel like I was going to the outing looking “too pretty”. I put on perfume. I will be putting on red lipstick before I head to the restaurant as well. I’m not dreading going home & preparing to fight all night about what I’ve been doing. I won’t be watching the clock tick by & worrying that I’m taking too long. When I take pictures today, it will be because I want to remember this as a good time. The pictures won’t be taken because I have to prove it was only my team of female coworkers. I’m going to have a good time because its the holidays & that’s the way it should be.

I’m going to have fun!

Last night, I had my Sister’s apartment all to myself. I spent it with my favorite person in the world. We got tipsy & had a relaxing great time. I watched Karate Kid & did Mr. Miyagi impressions. I felt like me for the first time in years.

I still didn’t sleep. The meds I picked up said that I shouldn’t take them with alcohol. I was kinda hoping the alcohol would help me sleep but no such luck. That’s going to be a real problem if I don’t get it resolved soon.

I’ve hit a bit of a roadblock trying to start my mental health help but its not a complicated problem. Its just going to take time. I will just have to hold onto the roller coaster ride of emotions for now. I figure if I can get thru what I survived for 30 years while being physically sick and also miserable, I sure as shit can get thru this.

You’ll have to excuse me now, I have some red lipstick to apply! 💋