I decided to visit Dad’s grave on Halloween. I brought him an apple. I laid beside his grave on a jacket. I talked with him and turned on his favorite singer Tina Turner. I thought I was ok to feel the tears going down my face. While I closed my eyes and laid down I heard strange noises. I thought well if I die here they won’t have to travel far to bury me. I turned around to see something out of the corner of my eye…OH SHIT! I told Dad see him later ran to my car and when my car started I saw something dash by! 3 turkeys were watching me waiting for me to leave. They wanted dad’s apple. I was so scared for a moment. I took pictures of the turkeys and told them dad needs help eating his apple.. please turkeys we enjoy your meal! I left kind of stunned.
My best friend Tella is in the hospital. The first Halloween since her son Ryan died. I knew she was depressed that mono hospitalized her. I gave her a doll. A teddy bear in a devil costume. It was a gift. She had a big smile on her face. She said she wishes I had magic to bring her son Ryan back from the dead. I told her talking about Ryan brings him back in your memories. As you talk about him Ryan lives once more please talk with me about his life. We laughed,cried and I reminded Tella she is loved. I told her Ryan lives on in her. Nobody will ever take her Ryan away. She hugged me and said I always know the right words to say.
We played cards. I found her a few Halloween movies for her to enjoy. I told her how I want Talan and I to go to the Summerville Lake lighthouse. That I think it would be fun to get pictures. Tella said she wants to go to when she gets out of the hospital.
Tella has been one of my best friends since she was 16 years old. Tella is now 34. I couldn’t imagine my life without her. I love her so much.. We went to Galaxycon and got signatures from the voice actor of Jack Skellington from Nightmare Before Christmas earlier this month.
As I was driving home I saw kids in their Halloween costumes. I felt tears flow down my face. This was supposed to be my babies first Halloween. I miscarried earlier this year. It’s funny how sadness sneaks up on you.
I was hoping to have a dumb supper with my husband to celebrate the life of our ancestors but he was hardly in the mood. I wanted to visit Spirit Halloween with my husband but those plans changed too! Its ok I was tired.
I have 2 appointments today. One to my physical fitness trainer and the other to my neurologist. I have been seeing a neurologist since my ministroke in August 2021. I am seeing the physical fitness trainer to strengthen the left side of my body because the ministroke weakened me. I hope the neurologist figures out how to get rid of my headaches. I am going to nap until my appointment night.