So I’ve had tinnitus for a long time, like over 10 years. It does suck but I’ve been pretty good about ignoring it most of the time. I only accidentally focused on it when I was in an environment that was too quiet.

But recently it got like way way louder than usual. It was like deafening. I had recently attended an NHRA event that was pretty loud and even though I wore hearing protection, I was afraid I had messed up and made it worse.

If you don’t have tinnitus, then it’s really tough to describe how maddening it can be. Like you think “Okay so you have some ringing what’s the big deal” and I would probably agree with you but there is something about hearing something constantly your whole existence on and on and on that just drives you to insanity.

I couldn’t sleep the first two nights. Like actually only like 30 minutes of sleep or so total. I was miserable, pacing around the house crying off and on over it. Cursing myself for going to that event and messing it up worse. I’ve been so careful every since I noticed that I have tinnitus, keeping my volumes reasonable and wearing ear protection at weddings bc the DJ music is too loud. HOW could I have fucked this up?

The head pressure was the worst part. It felt like someone had a vice on my head. Like if you have ever had a high pitched noise played and it feels like someone is squeezing your head? That’s what it felt like all the time.

On a whim, I was like “maybe my sinuses or something are blocked up” so I took a sudafed out of desperation.

Within an hour, the pressure drops and the tinnitus drops lower. I don’t think I’ve sobbed like that in a while. Even though I’m sure the tinnitus was louder than it was previously, I felt such relief. But of course it kept coming back. And then soon, the sudafed stopped working entirely.

I schedule a doctors visit bc of course the sudafed doing something, meant something physical was wrong, since my tinnitus is neurological (not caused by ear wax or anything like that).

Well I didn’t think I had an ear infection because I didn’t have any pain (other than the discomfort of the pressure), but according to the nurse I had some redness around my ear drum indicating some sort of infection. She gave me some antibiotics to take.

idk if time just solved it, or the antibiotics, but the pressure is definitely better now. I’m finally able to sleep again and not go crazy when there isn’t something super loud playing in my ears. I’m hoping as I continue taking the medicine it will get better, because if that pressure comes back I’ll probably go crazy again. Like, no joke, I’ll probably need to go to the psych ward.

Bonus Surprise

In “bonus”, “not nearly as important”, “who actually cares”, news....

Jessica is with child.

Last updated October 28, 2023