Waiting on a miracle, miscarriage,walking my cats in Just Life

My baby was supposed to be due this month. Sadly I miscarried about 2 months into my pregnancy. I was so broken by the miscarriage. For a while I blamed myself. I didn’t eat for days because I felt unworthy because I couldn’t share my food with my passed on child. I have a teddy bear named Beary Styles. It’s a teddy bear in the first onzie I ever was given for my baby. I help Beary and cried like a small child.

I am supposed to be having my baby this month. I never got to find out the sex and I never got to hear the heartbeat. I felt robbed of my opportunity. I was so hurt when my gynecologist told me that my neurologist put me on a blood pressure medicine that steals folic acid from the baby. My gynecologist said the egg was blighted. She said the child miscarriage was probably a blessing because it wasn’t formed completely and wasn’t fit for life. I had to accept this child was meant to be a lesson not my miracle.

Earlier this week Enfamil send me a wonderful surprise of several containers of formula. They gave me a few bottles and some coupons. This would have been wonderful if the baby made it. I am now trying to find a new mother to give the formula to. I don’t want it to waste. I might ask a local church if they take these type of donations.. I wasn’t blessed with my miracle but I can still have a lucky mother feed hers.

I am still patiently waiting on my miracle. I wish I could say I found my rainbow baby instead I adopted Turtle and her kitten Cinder. Cinder and Ziggy rides in a carriage or in a cat friendly mesh backpack. I didn’t get to see my baby grow up but I am enjoying watching Turtle’s son Cinder grow up to be a beautiful white Siamese cat. We are training Ziggy and Cinder to walk on a leash we take them on adventures often.