I’m not sure how I got here. I woke up incredibly high and groggy and confused. Never again will I take a cannabis capsule at 10pm at night, worst idea.
Novio (Spanish for Boyfriend) and I spent our beautiful weekend with some friends, good food, and spent numerous hours outside in the beautiful heat and sun of NoCal. Frisco is grand this time of year. But the one thing I’d like to share and remember was that on Saturday we had a lot of opportunity to go to free comedy shows, invites for dinners, or other adventures listed, but Novio and I decided to go to a craft store and paint. We were going to paint and be crafty and spend time creating memories and paintings for our home. Our beautiful, comfortable, proud home. And so we painted, not masterpieces, but for our own pleasure of creating something just for us and no one else. I painted a popsicle and watermelon and did two abstracts involving tape. Novio painted a series of Adventure Time characters and a pizza and pickle. And now these pieces hang in our kitchen! Then, yesterday, I had plans to go dancing with a friend but the Universe was just not having it and although I was slightly disappointed I saw opportunity to be with my man and to spend the morning waking up to him rather than rushing to Oakland. Novio and I randomly decided we should go to IKEA and buy some furniture. It started out as just buying a stand for our TV, but then we realized that the items we were looking at were cheaper than planned and the Universe was really feeding us, once we got to IKEA we saw a kitchen table and four chairs for super cheap! Needless to say, we ended up spending the entire day buying and the entire evening putting together the items. It was a long long day and night and it ended with us cooking dinner and eating it on our new kitchen table.
And that’s when I realized it all.
How grateful I am for this man, his patience and intelligence, for his romance and friendship. How all of this, just two months ago I was in New Jersey worrying about what the apartment was going to look like, how I was so anxious about everything: not making friends, being lonely, being poor and lonely. All those insecurities and there was no way for me to know how amazing two months from that anxiety was going to be. How could I? I didn’t have the faith or trust in my novio or myself and that in itself has taught me a lot. I’m more guarded than I thought and that bothers me. I’ve always been open and passionate about learning what this world has to offer and I can’t experience that with a sheltered mind.
But, anyway, between the building and the cooking and the washing of dishes I took a cannabis capsule and then shortly there after shed a few tears about my new appreciation of it all. Novio and I have created a home. And that is something so vastly important, pure, comforting, and blessed. I am truly blessed to have waited for such a beautiful and caring man, to have such supportive and loving parents, to have a job, to be young and adventurous, to be healthy.
Setting intention to be grateful can be exhausting, but it’s worth it.
Frisco, be good to me.
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