there were things, over the past month, that i told myself i'd do when i got back. i thought, "life will be different after this." i told myself that because it HAS to be, or else it will be miserable.
i will start brewing beer
i will grow another sourdough starter
i will go to farmers markets more often
i will make yogurt by the gallon
i will help andrew with the garden
maybe if i focus on things that grow, i will feel more like i have roots again
and maybe if i start doing all the little things that are markers of Real Life, i will forget how amazing it is to live it in all the places that aren't here, and the vacation comedown can be monotonous instead of painful:
i will go grocery shopping
i will order checks!
i will go to the bike shop
i will stop eating so many donuts
and
you know what's next
(all together:)
"i will write."
but i guess i said that about my last trip and i never did. i don't know if i will write about this trip.
i think what i have to write about, what i need help processing right now, is home. because after traveling and experiencing about a thousand miles of other places, home is the most alienating place i've been in weeks
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