Dreams and changes and growth. in Trust the Journey pt 2

Hi,
I have gotten many of my new journal friends from 2020 during lockdown when I started writing again and I was on this fitness journey LOL what a fake journey that was I was still addicted to pop drinking it as much as often my way of losing weight was truly trying to have a ED and I don’t and I have lost 30lbs soo slow but I have done it and I have kept it off.. I don’t really drink pop anymore and I try to be more active.. through life changes I am finding ways to love myself and my body in whatever state it is in.. My ankle is still very much busted BUT i have now started to invest in expensive shoes that help and take alot of the pain away..

I had a dream this week I don’t know if any of you guys believe in dreams or ever look up your dreams.. My dream this week was that I ended up being pregnant.. I was with M because I asked him if I should contact Kris and see if him and Eugene would be interested in adopting or if he thought it would be better to get an abortion. Now remember this is a dream and not real life I am unsure the decision I made as I woke up before we even discussed any of the options..
If you have ever looked into dreams this one plays into my life right now as the idea of giving a baby up for adoption means that you are starting a new journey and that you are able to own your feelings and I have done that over the coarse of realizing that I love Ms family alot of the issues I feel existed don’t and I so see myself getting married to him in the future I would be honored to truly be apart of his family.. While dreaming of abortion simply means the end of something it’s and ending while possibly getting rid of someone in your life or something.. I have recently since coming back from vacation also made some big changes on that front aswell and have said some permenant good byes.

That dream came to me at perfect timing and I made up my own feelings on what it meant. thankfully i should never be in that situation as I have my tubes tied and M got “fixed” aswell and me knowing full well I could not have another child mentally or emotionally if I ever fell pregnant by some fluke.. I would hope that Kris and Eugene would want to adopt my child and I would think about that option.. I was once going to have a baby for Kris and his then gf.. we talked about it and I was willing to do it for them however life changed and they broke up and now Kris is married to Eugene and they are foster parents to a pre teen. anyway that’s my update this week..