Midlife Crisis in After OD
- Aug. 4, 2023, 4:36 a.m.
- |
- Public
I’m 38 years old and I’m having a midlife crisis. I don’t fucking know who I am or what I’m doing. I’ve been a mom half of my life and as my daughter is growing into her own, I am completely lost. Call it that empty nest syndrome or whatever bullshit name you want, but I’m losing it a little more each day.
I constantly have a knot in my gut and my chest is tight. My mind races with mental lists of things I need to do, questions I have about life, self doubts, intrusive thoughts, and general anxieties. It’s like running on a hamster wheel at full speed but I’m going nowhere.
My heart is aching and I feel empty inside. I’m trying to redirect my energy by making dinner dates with friends, making pottery, working to improve my business…I’m even hand sewing a goddamned quilt! I feel like I’m not living as my authentic self, but what exactly is that? I wonder if a tattoo, nose ring, and some hair dye will make a difference. Deep down, I know it won’t.
Nothing makes me feel better. Nothing fills the emptiness.
This. Is. Agonizing.
Deleted user ⋅ August 04, 2023
Are you pushing yourself too hard? Creating more stress? In a way you are grieving because of a big change in life with children gone. Many reasons for grief and how to grieve. Good you are a person that knows about the "authentic self". This is another time of growth. Shedding your cocoon and becoming something new a new authentic self, I think.