Irrational looks like impulsiveness in me. A loss of that careful filter between thought and action, especially when it comes to my mouth. You know the crazy shit that comes out of my mouth when I’m not filtering.
The amount of time I was at the bar last night watching fights is the same as it would have taken to get to you. Crazy to think about.
On the subject of “I love yous.” When I was married, we rarely said it to each other. As crazy as it sounds, you’re probably getting close to approaching my ex-wife’s number. The ex-girlfriend was the opposite. She said it very casually. Or at least that was how it felt. She would say it to her children, family, friends, and me. Some of those people I know she didn’t like very much. I didn’t say it much to her. It didn’t feel right.
It’s different saying I love you to you. It feels like I’m saying it the first time every time. It feels like it’s coming from my chest. As if it’s coming from my solar plexus and being sent to you.
I love you.
Writing is difficult, my kids keep literally climbing all over me. I have to try to write after they go to bed or before they wake up. As I write this now, my daughter is draping herself over me.
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