I can do this. in 2022

This past Friday, I sent a text to the ex. Just saying “I know this is weird but it’s Friday, the flash opened and it’s weird we are not seeing it together because you were so excited about it. Also, I’m not weird or crazy like you like to tell people of your exes.

He responds it is not weird. That he has no I’ll will toward me at all and haas nothing but positive things, very positive things to say about me. That he is found of our time together. That after speaking with some folks about it he sees he probably could have communicated a bit better. (No fucking shit)

I’ve been anxious about going to a kink related event without him by my side. Not because he “did”anything by being with me but more that he was my constant kink outing companion for a long while.

When years ago, I previously went to kink outings, Hubs went too. But that isn’t what happens now. And that’s ok.

So anyway, tomorrow is a regular karaoke event that the kinky people go to and I think I’m going to venture out to it - alone.

I feel anxiou and nervous about it. Nervous that the mutual friends will ask me About him. I’m hoping that isn’t the case because those friends will have seen my fet posts and certainly was most likely some gossip about it or whatever.

But. The new chicka in his orbit is in the “maybe going “ list. (Scrunches face). Is this being emotionally masochistic? I mean, maybe… but I’m trying to take back my control.

Narcissistic behaviors will show, darling. Just wait. I’m not telling her shit about them as I would just come off sounding like a crazy ex.

On the positive side, I’m going to a kink sushi party this weekend where two humans will be sushi platters!!! This is really why im going tomorrow- I want to cut through the kink group of mutual friends anxiety bullshit so i can enjoy the party on sat as similar attendees will be in the guest list for the party as karaoke.

Fuck off, Dr Polymer. You dont live here anymore - not geographically or mentally in my brain.

Last updated June 20, 2023