So I think I figured out the real reason I dislike working at Christopher Elbow. I see a lot wrong with the infrastructure of the company, but that isn't what bothers me. What bothers me is my Manager. She is condescending and belittles people. Mind you, she isn't always like that, but after working 6 hours with her yesterday and the day before that, it finally dawned on me why I dislike her. She isn't a leader, she is a micro-manager. I cut ribbon incorrectly, I mess up on some words and she sets out to make me feel guilty for it, I use different jargon to describe the chocolate than she does and it bothers her. It's just chocolate. I'm not you and you are not me, so how could I possibly be using the same vocabulary and it not sound stupid? I think she manages the place fine, but there is a serious lack of respect that goes on while she does it.
Just the small shit that really bothers me. When I told her I drive to work, she gets all fussy and starts to tell me how I'm going to get a ticket and that parking is really hard. But here's the thing. It's not. And I don't see how thats any of her business. By her standards I do everything wrong and I should be a pro at it by now. All 6 days I've been working there? Right. No.
Anyway, I didn't want my venting taking up my entire blog entry today. Yesterday was a shitty day and luckily I don't work with her today and hopefully this is my last day working with the store in general. NestGSV said yesterday, "I have to call the last reference on tomorrow and if that goes well I'm going to extend the offer to you," which basically means I'm waiting all damn day today to hear back from them! I just hope I don't romanticize my job with them so much that my expectations are ruined and I get disappointed. The job with NestGSV is a receptionist gig and I need to see it as an opportunity to do well in a job that I can move up in. Also, I can't work for a chocolate shop where all I do is eat chocolate. I feel fat and gross and unhealthy and half the shift I end up with a headache. I'm not doing a good job taking care of myself and if I don't have self control than I simply can not work there. Period.
I also want to note that I've been feeling a lack of creativity in my life. Not enough reading, not enough painting or exploring. Not enough adventure. I'm feeling purposeless and I'm not maintaining my curiosity as much as I'd like. So I've been reading more and that's helped, writing too has helped a lot. But I think once I got some money in the bank I'm going to have to start taking Paint Nite classes or learning a new trade here or there. And dancing. I need to dance some more and make that effort.
But for now, try to save money, and take it one step at a time. All the while I'll sit here and drink my coffee and watch Bob's Burgers.
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