It's all over the place right now... so I think I get to have my say on things. I suffered from depression... I suffered from it intensly, horribly when I was young... I was giving anti-deppressants which numbed everything and then when I came off it was like a tidal wave of feelings that hit me. I was sick of medication, I was sick of being the victim of feeling helpless, hopeless, down and dirty.
It was like being trapped in a dark hole looking up at the world go about their daily lives while I laid in the mud and darkness with the earth around me. People would throw me ropes, yell down at me how to get out of the hole... but it wasn't I made the decision to climb out of that hole on my own that I was able to let go and fight.
Looking back now being who I am and what I know I wish I could have slapped my past self, told her that's life and that life isn't always what you want it to be. You don't always get what you dream of because if you did then life would be nothing more than a boring fairytale. There would be no work, no fight, no blood, sweat and tears to get to the things that really matter.
I was sick of crying, sick of feeling like my world was going to crumble apart and so I took charge of that world. Maybe not with the most grace, but I climbing up from a rabbit hole is never a ballet.
So I'm going to go against the popular vote and say that sometimes it takes you being sick and tired of feeling sick and tired and picking yourself up and dusting yourself off.
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