new beginnings in MOON's chaotic lfe

Hello. I don’t know what I am supposed to write I am new to writing anything really (never been good at social media status writing either) which I think comes from the fact that in my culture, opening up about how we feel has never been a thing. So.... here we go very awkward situation, I don’t know if I will be mumbling about this for the remaining of this post …anyway. I am actively trying to put words on my thoughts lately, I have reached the point of being completely lost, I know that I should sort out my life and make drastic changes but I am incapable of finding what is wrong and what to start with: not me living and working with a friend with benefits for 6 years and getting so much social anxiety that I haven’t left the house for that long, not meeting anybody and hoping that one day this friend will look at me differently , or not meeting one soul meanwhile, or loosing contact With my mother because she chose to come out of the closet one day, and telling me THE NEXT DAY! that I am a 30 Yo with no perspective in life, no one to love me and that I should be thinking of meeting people so I can fulfil my duty on earth and bear children. Enough for today, I think it went well for my first time writing ever. Over all things will get better............ I think