#28 in 2023
- May 10, 2023, 7:09 p.m.
- |
- Public
Some things I simply can’t write about here. I can’t write about them in my paper diary either. Maybe they’re too painful? Maybe I’ve squashed them down? Maybe I haven’t really processed them yet and need more time? But even just processing an experience is hard for me sometimes. I tend to push things to one side, and just keep on keeping on. [Don’t cry. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. You’re being a crybaby. You’re too sensitive.] I know where all this stems from - I can almost hear their voices. And although I am concerned with my difficulties processing and admitting my own feelings, I don’t want to go to the source. Maybe because, realistically speaking, I know it wouldn’t change a damn thing.
3 Comments
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fjäril ⋅ May 10, 2023
there's been many times I hesitate in what I'm writing, although my PB is for me. I keep telling myself that I need to write, even if I haven't processed my feelings or had closure to a situation. I still pause often though, but am thinking of a written journal though I'm not sure if that would change any hesitant behavior.
Dayle fjäril ⋅ May 13, 2023
I’m not even worried about anyone I know reading this - it’s some kind of inner censor I think, blocking me from being fully open.
fjäril Dayle ⋅ May 13, 2023
right, it's not that I worry about others so much as my own brain stopping me and asking if writing it down is the best idea at the time (which probably isn't, but I need to document what I'm feeling and when somehow)