The Ghost of Me in Clarity!

At times I feel like I am comepletely checked out. As if the world has forgotten about me. I dont know what to do. Its like I am a shadow of who I am; I push and push but nothing seems to work. It comes in waves but when it comes I have no idea what to do. I watch movies continuing to wish that life was that easy or that something as rediculously imposible happens to me. Or that at least my life could be scripted and I could read what the next scene holds for me so that I can prepare for what come next and maybe just maybe I could feel less lost in my own life. How do I shake this so that it never comes back? What do I do to stop this feeling now? At times I feel as if I am being ungrateful or greedy but I honestly just do not want the struggles that come with living in the working class. I want to be in a place where getting help doesnt make it worse. Lacking support not only financially but emotionaly can really make someone feel like a ghost.