Comments are now fucking CLOSED, bitch! in Tales of Transhumanism

This is what happens when you fuck a stranger in the ass!

Anyway, um. Yeah. So. I went to court. That judge was a psychotic motherfucker. He told me I was going straight to prison and remanded me to the cells below the court. I was expecting to go to jail, and fell asleep, and four hours later they brought back up and the motherfucker had a go at me for shit that was out of my control. Long story.

So he said "Grudgingly, my hands are tied, and if it weren't for the fact that the Probation Service righteously fucked you in the anus, I'd be sending you to jail - and, oh, Christ how I want to send you to jail. You have 160 hours community service. You have a year's probation. If you fuck up for any reason, whether it be because a member of your family died, or if you have cancer, for any reason, I will send you to prison for two motherfucking years. Now get the fuck out of my courtroom, whitey".

Okay, I'm paraphrasing, but that's pretty much the score. Now - if you'll excuse me? I have some serious drinking to do.