I legally changed my name on my social security card. I'm waiting for it in the mail then going to DMV to do the same there...I was told the process is easier if I have the new SS card.
I put about 3 weeks worth of food into the freezer for post-delivery. That feels good.
We've had sex twice since I was taken off restriction. The first time I had to plead my case. We made a deal which was that I would not orgasm, he would pull out, I'd give him a blow job first to make sure he was close to finishing so we would have short, gentle sex.... These restrictions are because we want baby to stay put till close to 36 weeks. My orgasm can start my contractions again, his semen can soften my cervix more, and rough sex/long sex could get things going too. If I hadn't had 2 hospital visits, I would have felt fine with our typical sex but this was our deal and we stuck with it. The second time, we didn't have a discussion, he was much more willing (he initiated the sex as soon as I started kissing him). I hate that I crave sex so badly because my body is so confusing right now.
I never expected pregnancy to feel so uncomfortable, not just the pain but the emotional aspect, the hating my body, the self-conciousness. I love this little girl already but I hate that I was a tiny person and now I'm a tiny person with a huge stomach. I can't shave my legs without losing breath and having to sit down. I cannot shave my vaginal area without a lot of frustration and missing of many spots. I am hot ALL the time. I groan when I roll over, sit up, lay down, move or walk. I have a metal rod in my leg and that leg stiffens up where I shuffle instead of waddle or walk. I walk about 1/4 as fast as I did a month ago. My husband tries to wait for me but it's insane! I lean on shopping carts just to try and help the issues I'm having with my leg and my pace.
I had contractions from 9pm last night till after lunch today. They are mostly gone, still the occasional one here and there. Last night, many were painful. I was worried I needed to go into the hospital. Of course my husband was out drinking last night. He was trashed when he finally got home after 3am. He had asked permission, I had said I was fine so we he went drinking...he had no cell service so he didn't even know I was in pain. He felt terrible this morning.
I wish these contractions would progress to real labor instead of just being painful enough to worry me and make me wonder if they are "real" or Braxton Hicks.
I'm done with this pregnancy. I'm terrified to deliver but need this process to be over. I want to hold my daughter and face all new challenges.
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