My grandpa passed away the morning of July 29th.
His body stopped producing blood and a few weeks ago he was back in the hospital because he only had two pints of blood in him. They gave him four pints and his body accepted it, but not enough. They thought he might have cancer, but we'd never know. He chose to just go home and live his last days there.
This grandpa and I have never been close. We never had a relationship like grandkids should have with their grandpas. Last week when I saw Karen, I mentioned to her that I was thinking about writing a letter to my grandpa. She made it my homework. The evening of the 25th, I sat down at the computer and began writing. I wasn't sure what I'd say, but the words came. I told him I forgave him for hurting me so badly.
The evening of the 28th, he wanted my mom to come out and pray with him. She went from work. My dad was home and she text him to come out. I started to panic and so I printed out the letter and had my dad take it with him. He did. About 5 minutes later I called my mom and asked her to read my letter to grandpa when it was just him and her. I was sobbing by this point. Later that evening she told me she had read it and he was very happy that I forgave him and that he was very sorry for what he did to me. I cried more.
I got ahold of Karen and set up a time on the 30th to see her.
My parents got up early on the 29th because my grandma called. They went out there and I got up a little bit later to get ready to head to bounty market. When I got to my mom's work, she told me he'd passed at 9:25. My heart wasn't sure what to feel.
When I saw Karen, I was able to tell her my feelings and one of my issues was, I had no idea what to do with my feelings from before. I've hated him for 28 yrs. While talking with Karen, I told her that his daughter was born dead and I've always seen it as a blessing because she didn't have to be hurt by her father. But now he's with her in heaven. He got to meet her for the first time. That made me cry! And I know he's in heaven because my mom prayed with him a few months ago and he accepted Christ as his Savior!! For YEARS I've wanted him to go to hell, but my heart changed and now he's in heaven enjoying getting to know his daughter!
I have no sorrow, I'm not sad. I'm not going to grieve. I'm glad he's out of pain.
Well, it's 2:32am Saturday morning. My meds need to kick in!!!! I have a super busy Saturday!!! Breakfast at my mom's work, final dress fitting afterwards, then shopping with my cake Baker!!!
Almost one month away!!!!!!!
Sweet dreams!!!
Oh by the way, I wrote this on my phone so I might be here more often!! :)
Dacuteone :)
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