Getting Scared Now in Diary
- July 31, 2014, 7:49 a.m.
- |
- Public
Yesterday my job went up on the Total Jobs website and today I've just pinned it to the internal jobs notice board. I feel more sick and terrified now than when I handed my notice in, every day it's becoming more and more real. No regular payslip coming in every month! No paid holidays or sick days! No public holidays! I have a mortgage and bills to pay!
BUT I'm trying to calm myself down by reminding myself:
* This job is boring as hell and, if I don't get out now, I'll be here for the next 30 years. I've been planning this for almost two years and I'll only regret it if I don't do it.
* As long as I have enough money to pay my share of the bills every month, I'll be fine. I'm already earning 30% of my contribution around my full time job.
* Money isn't everything. Doing a job I enjoy and being happy on a daily basis are more important.
* Plus I keep trying to remember other people who have done the same as me and worked out fine. I recently read John Bishop's autobiography and he gave up a £70k job to be a full time comedian. He struggled for months and even years trying to get somewhere, but never gave up and it paid off. OK so I'm not going to be a successful comedian filling stadia all over the country, but the principle is the same!
* All of your support! Everyone is behind me on this and that's buoying me up as well.
I just keep thinking about all the things I still have left to do to get set up and becoming overwhelmed. But I have five weeks to get everything sorted, and I have a few days off work before then so I can spend those full days doing all of this stuff.
Brain fart. If you think I'm talking about it a lot now, wait until I actually start ;o)
In roller derby last night they tried to teach us how to skate sideways. I absolutely cannot do it and ended up just spinning in circles. But this turned out to be a blessing in disguise as I accidentally nailed transitions while trying to skate sideways, lol. Transitions are required in the Safe to Skate test, but skating sideways is not so all is good! :o)
Still no news on whether or not Altfest is going ahead :o(
20 working days remaining
Camdengirl ⋅ July 31, 2014
this is most definitely the hardest bit... It'll be so much easier when you are able to get properly stuck in!
Bomb Shell Camdengirl ⋅ July 31, 2014
Oh I hope so, there's just so much to do to get set up and it's hard trying to fit it in around work. But I don't want there to be a gap in my earnings so I'm determined to have all it ready to go as soon as I leave work :o)
Deleted user ⋅ July 31, 2014
It is scary quitting a job but I think you got this!!! Dont start doubting. You will pull through :)
Bomb Shell Deleted user ⋅ July 31, 2014
Thanks! There's just so much to do to get set up and it's hard trying to fit it in around work. But I don't want there to be a gap in my earnings so I'm determined to have all it ready to go as soon as I leave work :o)
Camdengirl Bomb Shell ⋅ July 31, 2014
you're doing it entirely the right way!
Hypnotica ⋅ July 31, 2014
skate sideways - do you mean sidesurf?? thats what we call it. its hard! I can still only do it one way and would NEVER feel confident to use it in scrim to get round an edge. Our lil Kat Van Damn nails it though!
Bomb Shell Hypnotica ⋅ July 31, 2014
Probably, they were just calling it side skating lol. I was pleased that only a couple of people could actually do it; even people who've been skating for years were struggling! I guess it's all to do with being flexible enough to get your feet in the right position.
Hypnotica Bomb Shell ⋅ August 01, 2014
Yeah the position itself is hard, even without skates on. You can practice by doing it off skates (Or on!) leaning with your crotch against a wall haha
Bomb Shell Hypnotica ⋅ August 01, 2014
I can just about do it without skates, although it isn't very comfortable. I was practicing when doing the washing up last night, plié by the sink lol.
Babe In Toyland ⋅ July 31, 2014
Yes, happiness is so much more important than money. You need to live, not just survive. We only get one chance at life! Mam finds it hard to get enthused when I tell her about all these voluntary roles I'm taking part in right now, saying stuff like "Shame it's not a REAL job." But I have my fingers in many pies and it will eventually lead to me doing something I REALLY enjoy!
Bomb Shell Babe In Toyland ⋅ July 31, 2014
I know, I keep telling her that you're getting your foot in the door and one of them is bound to lead to something! I think she's just worried about you not doing paid work at the moment, she's finding it hard to see the long term plan.
Babe In Toyland Bomb Shell ⋅ July 31, 2014
Hey, we're getting by! You know me, I'm not really one for having "stuff" anyway. Kids are warm and fed and holidayed, we 're ok. :)
~Twinkle~ ⋅ July 31, 2014
You sound so much happier talking about your new self employed job :) x
Bomb Shell ~Twinkle~ ⋅ August 01, 2014
I'm really excited, I hope it's as good as I'm envisioning lol :o)
Deleted user ⋅ August 01, 2014
I think this is the start of some great things for you!
Bomb Shell Deleted user ⋅ August 01, 2014
I do hope so, I can't wait to get started :o)
Lucretia ⋅ August 01, 2014
Working for yourself is the best thing you can ever do, even if it takes time to make it financially viable. I've never been happier, the only thing is to remember to take time off as it's way too easy to work seven fourteen hour days a week. Take time for yourself as well as your job and wake up every morning loving your life and your work x
Bomb Shell Lucretia ⋅ August 01, 2014
Yeah, I'm worried I won't be able to take a holiday without checking my emails and phone every five minutes, scared of missing out on business!
Lucretia Bomb Shell ⋅ August 01, 2014
I love my iPad. It dings if I get an email and you can see if it's relevant on the preview on the lock screen. Not urgent: dismiss until I care to deal with it.
Getting a balance is hard, and you need to check yourself constantly for over work but there's tools out there to make it easier, you've just gotta be mindful of yourself.
Miso Honey ⋅ August 03, 2014
You are doing the right thing for you. Remember that.