i had a lot on my mind until i finally logged onto here...
one thing on my mind is my cousin, lee. i was just watching intervention about a heroin addict. apparently, my cousin was a heroin addict. he died 4 days before my wedding. i havent sent my aunt and uncle a card yet. i dont really know what to say in the card...but i need to send something. i didnt really know he was struggling with drug addiction. my other cousin, austin, has struggled with that for years (among many other things). i knew lee was into drugs, but i didnt think it was that hardcore. i ended up switching the channel. just makes me sad to know that people have addictions and dont know/dont have the resources/dont want the help to over come them.
dann used to have a cocaine addiction, before i met him. luckily, there came a point in his life where he realized that he had an addiction and decided that he didnt want to live that way anymore. he overcame his addiction and became a better person, a stronger person for it. im not saying that anyone who does not overcome their addictions is less of a person, its just sad that there are ways to overcome and it makes me sad that people decide not to or their life is ended because of an overdose before they can get themselves out of their addiction.
my aunt found my cousin dead in his room from a heroin overdose. they didnt have a proper funeral. the hospital needed to do an autopsy on his body to determine the cause. my aunt and uncle had a memorial service the day after my wedding for my cousin. i dont know if they buried him or he was cremated or what. why didnt my family step in and host an intervention for him? why dont we do anything about my father's sister, her husband and her son who are all drug addicts? why does that family still live and try to tear my dad's side of the family apart while my cousin never bothered anyone and he died? i dont get it. the world is a crazy place sometimes.
well, this got dark. just whats on my mind at the moment. ill need to send that card soon...so much to do that i just dont want to do. ive been pretty lazy lately and i need to get myself motivated to do shit instead of watching tv and cleaning/organizing my apartment. how does one get themselves motivated, especially when their body wants to do nothing? i know the aches will feel better if i move more, but its difficult to want to move when your body aches. all you really want to do is curl up and relax. hopefully i can get my butt in gear!
later.
~mana~
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