Finally, finally. in A Life Uncommon

It feels like the older the kids get, the less time I find to journal. Sad, because I really enjoy writing!

Nich and two friends built a tent out of some canvas and sheets and are camping out the yard. I've not got super high hopes for them lasting all night, but I'm pretty amused with their efforts.

Gavin and Joshua are...you know...I don't know if I have words for them today. Spirited?

I am quickly losing energy to keep up with them every day, and it's filtering back into the overwhelming stage. I am honestly contemplating quitting my measly peasly WAHM job so I can follow them around all day and monitor them. And even then I won't get much done, I don't think.

Just today, I tried to do the dishes. Joshua climbed into the chicken food. I tried to vacuum the stairs. J and G dumped an entire box of electrical stuff (THANKS JACK) and then trashed the toy room. As I was cleaning that up, they upended the bedroom. It is essentially just a giant rotation from one mess to the next and me sobbing and correcting and them screaming and.....I know all of you moms out there are cringing and eyerolling and "GET THEM BACK UNDER CONTROL"ing me. I can hear you. Even you, friend. I hear you. I wish I could, honestly. I really can't with inconsistent parenting and very wild abandon.

OKay, that's the venty part of it. THe truth is it sucks a lot and I am tired a lot and I feel like I should probably cage train them soon, but at the end of the day they are good boys who really do listen (MOST of the time, and when it matters) and above all, they are loved and healthy and happy. I just have to whine because parenting is haaaaaaard, yo.

Nich got dismissed from therapy because he doesn't show enough of an issue in sessions. I had a long week of sulking and being angry. Now I am frustrated and filming every hysterical breakdown. 30 minutes to pick up 4 toys and 2 pieces of paper in a hallway. 22 minutes to do $5.00 - $2.86. His responses of dropping on to the floor to sob when reminded it is time to do a chore, especially so when he has his mind on doing other things.

"Well maybe he just needs coping skills" Uh huh, he does. And where do you learn coping skills when your parents are out of ideas? THERAPY. Oh wait.

Yeah that's where I am at. Pretty much the same as at school. He clearly needs help (he can't grasp basic math problems), but performs fine with 1:1 when they test him so they wont give him help. Except he only does that well when he gets 1:1. And they only provide 1:1 when you qualify for help. It's a circle of bullshit.

Just a giant circle of bullshit.

Other than that.. yeah, life is okay.

Clutch concert next weekend. :D :D :D :D