Who Am I in QUOTIDIEN
- July 21, 2014, 11:38 a.m.
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- Public
For far more than half my life, I've been 'Dave's wife', 'Mrs. G'. And most of the decisions I've made were taking into account the wishes of my husband. His moods would often dictate how I acted in certain situations.
Widowhood has allowed me to begin...or restart being fully me, this old me - premarital me enhanced by my life's experiences.
No, it hasn't been easy - but I am appreciating the strength that people have long said I have, but figured were most likely comments on a carefully crafted illusion. I am shocked at how peace has pursued me in this, as well as a sense of balance, and dare I even say it, joy!
I still worry about selling this blasted house in healthy, financial time, will I be an adequate parent, can I make it all work? I am human, after all. But overall, I'm liking who I am proving to be - this new me.
But, and isn't there always one of those - someone just stuck their finger into the vortex of this new creation, and part of me wonders if it will endanger the outcome of this new blend.
Do I pray that it doesn't, or will this experience enhance the person I am ultimately meant to be?
motherofthree ⋅ July 21, 2014
I so understand this. After being with my late husband over 30 years, and raising 3 kids and having them all move out on their own and now it's just me. Everyone asks what I like to do, and I say I don't know. It was always what "we" liked to do, or what the kids liked/needed/wanted to do. It's a hard adjustmemt sometimes, as my friends are all married and/or have grandkids, so they are busy with them, so I'm having to do things by myself, and sometimes I don't like it. Hope you have a good week! =^..^=
NorthernSeeker ⋅ July 21, 2014
I guess this is where you have to be really honest with yourself about what you like about being single. Take steps to preserve those things while you get to know your new friend. Establish boundaries. Put your interests first. Start as you mean to continue.
GypsyWynd ⋅ July 21, 2014
Mom and I were just talking about this this morning. She still, 5½ years later, feels like she's missing part of herself since Dad died. I, on the other hand, who never felt my spouse was much of a partner, have experienced a great sense of relief and freedom and very little loss. I figure every experience we have helps make us who we are.
hot-lips ⋅ July 23, 2014
I think take things one step at a time, I'm sure things will come together in terms of financially, your children etc. Learn who you really are as a person without your husband and just try to enjoy it.
Deleted user ⋅ November 16, 2014