Drawback to 3rd shift, Friday is not really Friday until Saturday morning. But, this week has moved by pretty quickly I guess, considering that technically it's Thursday.
This is the first night this week that I've had enough time to do something other than work. However, I must pause to say that I work with some COMPLETE morons. I am so so so glad that I work by myself most of the time. Case in point, after everyone left tonight, I got to unbutton the top button of my jeans and sigh in relief. I don't know what's up, bloating or gas or something, but my jeans were feeling uncomfy and now it's all better. As long as I remember to button them back up before I do anything.
Ever since last weekend, Tim has been pouring on the love and affection. I'm glad about that, really I am, but also just waiting for the other shoe to drop. It's just so strange. The more emotionally withdrawn I seem to get, the more he chases after me, so I don't want to commit to being happy because then he'll just go the other way. I don't know. I have also been cleaning and cooking like crazy, so there's that. I know he's grateful not to have to do anything, though I did ask him to wash the crockpot out after I made dinner the other day and it didn't happen until today. At least it eventually happened. Tim had the day off from work yesterday and after I got home from work and got Savino off to school, we had sex for awhile upstairs. I am glad tht he is interested in being intimate with me again, he kept giving me all these compliments and I was just like, uh.. ok. I don't know what to say to that, he's pretty few and far between with the compliments. I don't know. He sent me a few texts the other day saying that he loves me and I was a good wife, I said I loved him and he was a good husband and father and he said "Not really. I never make you happy". I said that wasn't true, he does make me happy but I would be happier if he had an interest in what I was feeling other than when I'm happy and that I'm tired of him being mad if I'm upset about anything, that I'd rather just keep it all bottled up than have him get pissy with me because I'm not a ray of sunshine. He said we could talk about it that night and he wouldn't get mad. Of course, we never did, I didn't initiate a conversation because frankly, I don't believe him that he won't get mad, and he didn't, so it didn't happen.
I could pick this all apart to death, but the bottom line is that for the moment at least, Tim is trying very hard to be a loving attentive husband and to make me feel "better", so I am trying not to punish him for future transgressions by rejecting his attempts. Maybe this weekend we can do something just the two of us, Chantal could keep the kids Saturday night, we've taken Jaden Friday night for the last two weeks at least. Probably will have him again this Friday night, actually.
We share a building at work with a local university who is building a physical therapy school and they just installed these new vending machines for the students on our shared ground floor. Oh happy day, they take debit cards! And 5's, 10's and 20's! The only drawback is that they're a lot more expensive than our vending machines that are in our part of the building, at least for snacks. But, they have a FROZEN FOOD vending machine! Like, with TV dinners, frozen sandwiches, hot pockets, and ICE CREAM. I've managed to stay away from the ice cream so far, but it's always so tempting. I've gotten a few Dt. Mt. Dew's and some snacks because I never carry cash and our vending machines only take 1's. I discovered tonight that they have AMP energy drinks in the soda machine, so I got one of those, and I will need it. All that time with Tim this morning meant that I didn't get to sleep until around 11:30 and I was so exhausted when I woke up at 2:30 that I made Tim drive me to the school to pick up the kids because it felt seriously dangerous for me to drive that tired. I came home and was back in bed by 5:30 and slept until almost 8pm. Tim doesn't have to go into work until 12pm tomorrow so I am really hoping that he won't bug me too much and let me just sleep. It's hard for him to not want to "do" something with me when he has the day off, but he has to wrap his head around the fact that the time when the kids are at school is my night time, it's the best time I have to sleep.
Speaking of time off, I am so looking forward to being off for two days for my birthday in November. I am seriously counting the days down until then. I took off the 5th and 6th so I can enjoy my birthday, not that I have plans to do anything, and I have a parent teacher conference with Savino's teacher on the 6th but what are you going to do. After that we have Thanksgiving and the day after Thanksgiving off, and that will give me a four day weekend. Then we have Christmas and Christmas Eve off, and New Year's Eve, and that's going to be awesome. It helps to have something to look forward to, to break up the monotony of work.
Thank God I'm not on call this weekend. That is all.
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