Starting Over Again in A New Beginning

I just did something I never do. I deleted my old blog here...not that I'd had it long enough for it to be "old." I hadn't written in it very much. The entries that I did write were not very long. I was not good at keeping up with my friends' entries. In short, I was not the same person, at all, as the one who first began writing on Open Diary back in late 2004. I was not the same person as the one who wrote regularly and regularly left notes for her friends in 2010. My life has changed. A lot. I don't know if I am a better or a worse person. I don't think "better" or "worse" really comes into it! I'm just ME.

My feelings were hurt yesterday when I read a note left by Katren Coyote on my old blog's most recent entry. "I miss when you used to write about the small things in your life. Take care."

I wasn't angry. I felt hurt. That doesn't often happen. Someone, not close to me to begin with, feels a need to tell me that she is disappointed in the way I am nowadays. Well, that is too bad. But I am ME. Life happens, and Life has happened to Me. I do not have hours of free time, like I used to, to write long intimate blog entries anymore. Am I sorry? I don't know, because I've learned this about Life. You go with the flow. The river carries you to where you need to be, and in order to do what you're meant to do, you go with it, allowing your experiences to change you into the YOU you are to become. By Life's end, we are a rich tapestry...a composite of the many people we have been. But we can't try to hang on to things and roles whose time has passed, or we go no farther.

I do not allow myself to miss what WAS, ever. I live in the Now. I have to! Here and Now is where I am, here and now! I want to reap everything good that there is for me in this time and place!

Anyway, so, that's how I ended up here. I only am friending the very few people who are truly very, very important to me. There is one whose Prosebox name I can't remember....the lady who went by Jeni Dancer on Open Diary. Do you know her? I want to add her too.

blessings and hugs, Nicky