I've been thinking a lot about breasts these days. Mostly because I'd like to get rid of mine and my wife wishes she had bigger ones. It seems like having breasts is such a symbol of femininity, so it's something I want to rid myself of and something my wife really wants.
It's funny how important it can be, particularly if you're trans. I'm the anomaly on my side of the family. My mother is tall and thin and never really quite had an A cup. My sister somehow managed to have even smaller breasts than that. She is the perfect example of being completely flat chested, with large perky nipples and absolutely no breast tissue. She did wear a bra when we were teenagers, but as an adult she does not. There's literally no need for one, and the smallest cup available is big on her.
But I've always seen both my mother and my sister as very feminine. My sister is very much a girly-girl. And if she can pull that off without breasts, my wife ought to be able to as well.
It's much harder to do the opposite. I think anyone who looks at me and isn't quite sure if I am male of female, makes the decision of female because of my boobs. I hate having to squeeze them into a binder every day, but it's the best way to handle it for now.
I say "for now" because my therapist has already suggested breast removal surgery. I think it's a great idea except for the fact that I'm scared of surgery and I don't really want those big chest scars that I see on other trans men.
But I'm sure I'll do it eventually. Just like I'm sure my wife will eventually have augmentation. Boobs matter, whether we want them to or not.
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