p0:07
Not much these few days, i watched more anime and read more manga than I have usually done lately, so good for that. I attended a few intensive driving lessons and played a lot. I even went out yesterday. I’ve been on like 2 or 3 calls w B and one w B, S, Nils and Parrone (it was a group project but we ended up sending stickers). It was vacation and unproductive, but a lil bit better than Judy staying on tiktok 7h a day.
My main these three days (apart from being tired in terms of writing, I feel less like writing, something I was expecting would happen) is that of reading. I feel like I’ll never be the wise, cultured, intelligent person I idealize to be coz I don’t read enough. I watch a lotta anime (not that much actually) and read a lotta manga, but I have no idea in terms of occidental literary culture, and that’s like everything. B mentioned he was reading something and it was like, how do you have time for it? And even if I had all the time I wanted for reading, I have a hard time doing so, I have bad attention unless I’m on an adequate environment like class or something. You get the thing, I wanna read more.
And, tomorrow Saturday I’ll be going gr in the morning (B will not be there, and I’ll try to be more extroverted and happy than usual w gr people (it’s not coz B isn’t there, it’s just coz I was planning to do so)) and come back fast so I enjoy time at freakon w the 3s and Cinthia and Matro (her grandpa died yesterday, I’m very sorry for her). I wasn’t gonna go Sunday coz I had no one to go with,but guess who’s going. B, S, J, Ing and Ivan, and I was on call w B and he mentioned that I go w then. He said so on their group chat, he told me J said it was fine, but I still feel like I might just be intruding something else. I don’t want it to be akward. Now I’m a point out all negative thinking ngs I’ve seen coz ofc I just focus on the negative.
1. Ivan, S, Ing and J prolly would have more/the same fun without me, and they don’t really want me there so it’d be awkward.
2. B literally said on a group chat “is it okay if Nemo comes w us”. Now it’s obvious that I like him, tho I believe some people (including B) might have noticed before.
3. I’ll prolly go Mista coz I don’t have nothing else to wear, and if they ain’t dressed it’ll be awkward af.
4. I already bought the ticket coz I was scared it might sell out throughout this time, and I did face or cross w B to see if I was going and he won, another reason why I did so.
Overall, I wanna go q them cos they great people n stuff but I’m scared it might be super awkward and they might not want me to go with them.
Anyways, I hope I meet some cool people and maybe make some friends (specially on Saturday).
I felt good these few days, it’s crazy white week is already ending, but I haven’t had a horrible crisis. Also wanna mention in scared I’ve become extremely hiposexual, I literally got bored of corn. And last thing, school is getting overwhelming, something that had never happened to me, but I still gotta keep going I’m sure I’ll end up getting through this.
Did my braids and I’m a have them tomorrow and maybe Sunday. I didn’t ask seriously bout my hair, I’ll do so tomorrow and in school maybe, but I might cut it.
Heavy on guitar lately.
Almost forgot S wanted Noa and me to sleepover Saturday to Sunday, but I told her I couldn’t go. I really wanted to, but I feel very ugly in the mornings, and I gotta be clean and shower and change clothing n stuff for Sunday. I wish it was another day so I could go. Yesterday I went out w them and it’s not the same it was before at all, I miss our relationship a year ago, but anyways has I still enjoyed it.
p0:29
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