i deactivated my facebook account today. there's too much drama and nonsense on there that cause so much trouble, it isn't worth having if it isn't fun or at the very least useful. i need to refocus my attention on something else and stop worrying about other people. other people don't give a damn about me or what i think so i'll take the same route and focus on myself. in essence, my sense of hospitality has expired. between the nonsense at work and group of friends i don't have, i'll have plenty of time to get my own stuff in order. of course taking my facebook account off for however long i decide is just the start of fixing my life. i'm wired to go out of my way for people; i make sure others are taken care of and comfortable. i don't do it for the reciprocity but does anyone do that for me?
my dad said he's worried i spend too much time alone. it isn't like him to actually worry about me, he knows i can take care of myself. he's impressed with the level of independence i've gained in the last year. i go bowling every friday at the alley up the road from me; i usually bowl between 3-9 games depending on my wrist and thumb. dad suggested i join a league. counterpoint? i'm not that good yet and i don't want to talk to people, hence going alone. although, going alone has become old and i grow incredibly fatigued when i ask people and they have a thousand excuses or just flat out don't answer. this is why i spend so much of my time alone... because people aren't dependable and frankly it's tiring being told no or ignored. this isn't new, it isn't even old, it's just routine. it's a suck ass routine.
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