p0:07
I think its obvious i like B. It’s hard to hide it. He literally “adopted” me (i talk to him more than anyone), he came to my house amd all that stuff. Even when its messages, i tend to talk too “crushed”. Im literally messging him atm telling him to sleep (he told me to go to sleep yesterday night).
I wannabe tell the 3s and potentially Mateo all this drama w B and Marco, im a disgraced guy on love, and that’s chism at the end of the day, but it’s also my life atm.
Gotta remark bout yesterday’s night run. It was awesome, I never felt like that. I wish I never forget it. I feel extreme Ely melancholic. I had a small chronophobia attack today, and they’ll get more usual.
I might not be able to handle Friday’s party if Marco and B start dating. I’ll either drink or scape w the 3s.
I don’t wanna go competition on Sunday, mainly coz it ruins Friday party. If I can go out and drink through white week I’ll prolly take a cube or two.
I really want to go on white week vacation.
All I can think about is imaginary ideal scenarios where B tells me it was actually me that he lived and not Marco, or that he liked Marco coz he a good friend n shi but that he lived me romantically. All scenarios I imagine like that always came out impossible, and this one shouldn’t be any different.
B is someone diff when one on one and when on a group. Well, it’s not exactly that he is different, but he just doesn’t have physical time for me when he’s in a group coz he’s with the rest of people, and prolly q people he likes more than me.
I was as alone as always today. I was pretty down as well. But I wasn’t the same sad, I was sad and had a few downs, but I was more of idk how to explaining, it wasn’t depressed sad, it was teenager romance sad. I’d consider it a bit more “happy”, a win is a win. It’s not the reality that has changed, it’s me that did.
I still gotta ask for some things, but I’ll just train 2 days this week and rest white week, it’s gotta be very productive in all senses.
I can’t even stretch, I’m so tired and so sleepy I can’t hold myself.
I feel like crying a lot, I’ll most surely let a few tears finally today again.
I wannabe drink to forget on Friday, but I gotta leave Sat morning to fucking Murce.
Damn, I talked on message w B and that boy Alex from gr, and the 3s and Mateo and the girls in general. I even sent helpful stuff like exercise pages to class group chat, I wannabe be a better person.
I’m no longer 1st on Philo, I’m second and Pablo Monterey is 1st, I’m pretty happy. I’m not euphoric, but I’m very happy.
Shaima says I’m primadonna (if I were a Marina song), my compliment of today, and of the year.
I started making a list of moments that keep me humble, it’s funny af, there’s too many.
At least, academically I’m not so bad, ofc I have no idea what chemistry is about, but hey at least I got my ee approved by Yoli. Bout stars and celestial sphere and trigonometry.
Wanna eat less, but kinda can’t. Gotta do many things and don’t feel like it.
p0:22
Loading comments...