Money talks in 2023

I think I mentioned last entry that Craig finally got his raise and promotion, along with a new work vehicle. So his head was way up in the clouds this week. And it’s deserved, he’s been “promised” for this raise for over a year, took on extra work to show he was worthy. It’s all political bullshit, unfortunately, but he did finally get what he wanted. More than he asked, which was great.

Then came last night. Craig’s been boasting about his raise and yes that’s fine. I casually mentioned that I hadn’t gotten my yearly raise yet even though my evaluation was completed early January. Back at the hospital, you had your letter of pay increase a week (the latest) after your evaluation was submitted.

So Craig goes, “Well how much are you making now? What’s your hourly?” And honestly guys..... I’m very financially naïve. Which I know is not good and at 37 years old, I should have my shit together, but I just don’t have the brain for it.

Anyway, I just happened to have a paystub on the counter so I looked and told him (I had a vague idea of my hourly… I’m making so much more than I made at the hospital and like physically working/stressing significantly less, so it tickles me). Essentially, I am still making more than Craig by about $10/hr and he’s pissed about it.

He ripped into me about not helping with the bills/mortgage. We do keep most of our finances separate. And we had agreed that I would forego mortgage payments when Ryan is in school, bc that’s over $1000/month that I pay. I cover groceries and vet bills. So that almost $18,000 hospital bill is all mine (he never even offered to help pay). That’s not counting the adoption fee and initial two vet visits (which puts us over the $20,000 mark). Soooo....

I mean, I get it. I know it costs a lot to live where we live. Though our taxes are quite low for the area. And I do chip in when I can (and when I think about it). I’d prefer if Craig would ask for me to chip in certain months, like when he’s really tight. Because I truly do not pay attention.

When I see him buying new tires and new rims for his Mustang, I assume (wrongly) that he’s not strapped for cash. Most days, he buys three meals/day. So I assume (wrongly, I guess) that he’s not strapped for cash. He says he’s not saving money. I actually am, but not like huge amounts. Someone has to think about getting these kids through college. But also, how did you think I’d manage a vet bill of that amount on my own? Like yeah, I must be saving a little bit.

So he was all mopey and annoying last night, ignoring me. He said he was mad that I would “do this to him.” I know I’m not innocent here, I probably should’ve helped out more financially. I really don’t think about it. I just put the checks in the bank and spend the money or don’t.

My biggest fear is that I’ll chip in money and then two days later, there will be a new set of tires being delivered to our house for whatever horseshit he feels like doing to the car or truck. I feel like this happened somewhat recently. Like we got a refund of some sort and I put money in the account and he bought big ticket items. Like not necessarily from my money, but that’s what it feels like.

Anyway, he’s still being pretty aloof and pissy today. And I’m annoyed by it and tired because I’ve been up since 5am. Craig’s sleep apnea is getting worse and I told him last night so he’s also mad I mentioned that to him. Sorry for not wanting you to die in your sleep.

Welp that’s enough for now. I have a PTO day Monday, which I totally forgot about and I’d already agreed to precept another nurse. So I thought for a second and was going to cancel my PTO day but then I said, “Nah, fuck it. Who cares. Let them deal with it.” So that’s good? Or bad? Because I’m feeling very indifferent and standoffish. But also I’m taking time to myself? So yay? I dunno.